It's utter silly, and I'm keep doing the silly things.
I'm afraid, when nothing matters to me anymore, and not even family, I'm afraid.
So what matters to me?
The house is quiet, don't even bother to turn the TV on.
Sitting here, working the whole day and see the sun from day bright to dawn.
Plan changed, such a silly thought, although it's not a 'date' per se.
Eating stone hard poppy seed cake brought by a guest few days back, inedible.
Leaving the funny margarine smell in my mouth.
The kids next door is shouting non stop for more than 15 minutes now, the mother is pissed.
Wrote a sentimental email just now, I teared when I wrote it.
It mean so much to me, more than myself, more than anyone.
But yet, there's only empty shell I can see, it's practically non of my business.
My mom called, she said she wanted to come now, to my house, from Ipoh to celebrate new year with me.
If I'm still the old me, I will feel damn happy.
But deep down I just want to remain as it is tonight.
When you thought you know so much about one, it frightens you that you actually know so little.
It's ok not to be OK at times.