Friday, February 20, 2015

Me


Just now my mom showed me some old pictures of my teenage time. I OMGed OMGed for a few times, and wondered how I can be so lame, trying to 'pose' like idol with 'no-smile' face, taken from old school film camera.

*Pictures are too ugly for display.

I was brought up in a family with zero idea how love would be. Love as in the couple love, the lovey dovey love.
I used to have crush in my primary school, but I studied in girl school after that in my secondary school.

In 5 years time without any access to men in my school, I don't know what it is like to be loved, or to love.

When the first time I being court, there's nothing else than DISBELIEVE.
I don't believe that there's actually a boy in this world, who will like who I am, and according to him, he loved me.

I was thrilled, overwelmed and at the same time feel strange. What it is like to be 'loved'?
I start to have a framework of being in love, hold hands, going out, dating, movies etc.
Spent so much time to 'learn' how to be loved and how to love. And most importantly, gain my confident of being a girl, a girl that worth loving by another boy.

I used to think how unworthy I am, because I'm lame, fat, bold, stubborn and snobbish.
Years of learning myself from another person, gain back my confident, bit by bit.

It's quite amazing thinking back, how I used to be and how I learn about myself.
I am truly blessed that I have chance to see myself in that manner.


Saw this just now, I think I'm quite agree that things aren't always that beautiful, but it's not that bad after all. Just like growing up is not something we all want to, but it's ain't that bad eventually.

喜欢一个人,在一起的时候会很开心。爱一个人,在一起的时候会莫名的失落.喜欢一个人,永远是欢乐,爱一个人,你会常常流泪。喜欢一个人,当你想起他会微 微一笑。爱一个人,当你想起他会对着天空发呆.喜欢一个人,是看到了他的优点。爱一个人,是包容了他的缺点。 喜欢,是一种心情。爱,是一种感情。

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

大年初一

新年快乐啊! 心想事成啊! 身体健康啊!青春美丽啊!
真的,快乐就好。

大年初一,本不想那么消极的。可是什么事都有正反两面。我就姑且很正反两面的说说心里话吧。

其实,快乐很简单。
快乐本来就在周围,只要你把不快乐的都变不见,快乐就出现了。
赶得及在电梯门关起来前进电梯,很快乐。
吃了很丰富又罪恶,然后窃喜没有变胖,很快乐。
回家看到垃圾倒了,衣服收好了,很快乐。
路上没有堵车,非常快乐。
周末一天的早茶,真的令人期待的快乐。
知道回家有个人等我,快乐呢。

一生庸庸碌碌,求的不就是平安快乐。

最近,快乐很小了,小的快看不见了。

平凡的幸福不平凡了。
本来岌岌可危的东西,给救回来了,却突然一夜之间,说错了一句话,所有事情都颠覆了。
前面的路,越来越暗,越来越难走了。 本以为快要看到尽头的呢,却发现根本一开始就走错了。

心里的澎湃颤抖,都要往死里塞,一点都不能露馅。
难过也好,伤透心也好,长大了,就知道一个巴掌拍不响的道理。
我是不甘心吗? 废话,当然。
爱吗?这不是更废话吗? 我小心翼翼的爱着呢,沾沾自喜的以为自己收放自如,却不知道其实是一塌糊涂。

感觉,原来可以背叛自己的。

今晚大概又睡不着了。