Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Deadly sins

I kinda have a few late night sleeps these days.
Partly because of homework, but other than that we just chat and chat.
We look back the people we used to see, used to hang out with.
We come across the tremendous changes of life and people's attitude towards life.

We notice someone who wil never get angry, get angry all the time now.
We see those who just want to be simple in their life become extremely complicated.
We see people always like to be the cream and scream at others.
We see people who think they are the cream, and give wrong instructions.
We notice people play dirty, we see more sorrows.

All these are bugging me, perhaps the environment here is forcing people to change.
Last night I received an email from a person who can't let go the past.
Ironicly, to keep ourself out of people's hurting is to ignore and to mind our own business.
The frind of mine certainly don't get this.
The humanity are vulnerable here, what you see is mostly not the truth.

If there are 7 deadly sins...a lot of them are commited these.
I'm not saying I'm perfect, but the feeling is so strong from surrounding.
Seeing people not only me, who suffer from the same problem, the changes.
Talks to those who I seldom talk to, notice they are those who changed less.
They change just because of wanted to protect themselves, and they learn that for a great price.

The ideal public sphere just like Habermas suggest is never exist.
There's always selfishness exist.

I wonder how would we become after this??
A stronger person definitely. Good or Bad.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

友情は一体なんですか? 可笑しいなああ!

I remember how's the feeling of having a best friend last time.
The kind that you can't do anything without her, or do everything with her.

A friend that understand me the most, we don't need to say much, we just know.

I enjoy the day where we talk to each other in the phone untill late mid night, eventhough my parents scolded me for the sky high phone bil.

I can remember how wonderful it is to have her and her family to celebrate birthday with me.

Like every other girls do, we stay over night at each others' house.

We study together, but most of the time talking, but we enjoy it.

Whenever I saw something about friendship, a card, for instance, I'll automatically think about her, the only person I can think of.

She's the person who can make you happy, know you best, we have to talk everyday, and she always think of you like you always think of her.

We called each other whenever we went travel, and always bring back stories and present for each other.

I so miss the feeling of having a best friend. The kind that only exist in secondary school.

When we grow up, this kind of pure friendship can never be seen.

Perhaps there are, perhaps that's not happening to me.

Time, place, experience, changes take away the purest part of our life.

We don't think so much before, as a kids.

All we need to think is how to have fun, and have more fun!

Although there's a lot of unhappy things last time, but the unhappiness is different from now.

As we get older, we learnt from the environment.

Struggle to live, struggle to survive in the society.

We started to faked a lot of things.

We start to think how to be happy. We don't think how to be happy last time, we just happy.

And funny is most of the time being ignorance is the best solution to feel better to yourself.

Life is unfair, whether you want to be someone good, or someone selfish.

If people doesn't like you, there's no reason!

If you are lucky enough to born with charisma, you'll just shine with lime light on you all the time!

I glad I had best friend before, although I lost her, but still, she'll always be the best.

I glad in each stage of my life there are people who come in to my life, and give me hope and strenght to move on.

I glad that there are friends who look deeper on who I really am, appreciate me as a person.

The world is cruel, people stabbing each other to stand on the crowd, but in front of them they faking smiles and faking friendship to maintain social status.

The one who you treated good is not neccessary the one who treat you as friend!

Those who always mix together as 'friend' is not neccessary as good as you see from surface.

How sad it is to live in this kind of world.

No wonder people are seeking purity now in life, because we losing it by surviving.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Lake District

I guess there's too much of hustle and bustle going on this week, ups and downs, not only me, seems like most of the people around also having some problems of their own...

This is too heavy.

Let's wash away some of the sorrow by showing the picture from lake district.
Iwouldn't regret to come here, and I would regret if I didn't.
This place make me put away all my sorrow for once.
This place is like a fairy tale, you wake up and you see you are in a story book, with little cottage houses, farms, animals, streams..I miss this place.

Although we spent 3 hours to climb the hill, but it's super worth while...
I never seen something like that before, it's breathtaking beauty, and when we reach the top, it's stunning.

The lake is lying on top of the hill, so peaceful, so gorgeous.
We can ignore all the droppings on the field, but juz want to capture everything we able to capture in our memory.

This probably is heaven.




























Saturday, July 18, 2009

Let's do it!

Manchester United is in KL.
I'm going to watch Liverpool match live soon.
Hopefully can see Gerrad and Torres in person !!!! *dreaming*

Let's not looking back, Let's hope for the best for next week.
Let's do it!
Let's screw the grading system in LJMU, screw you all who have a blardy cock-a-hoop face (Mia, 2009).

Hell you all who gosok kasut, playing his balls.
Bless you with your first class.

SCREW all of you who are hypocrite, hurting people when smilling.

Ahem, What a woderful day!

Thursday, July 16, 2009


I guess what's in my brain is infinity of questions.

I never know what I lacking of, why I always can't perform well?

Why I never know what I need to do to get better?

I never know how to please everyone!

I can't turn myself into someone who charismatic, I can't change the fact!

Why human are so helpless in life?

I want to do something good out of my life, but end up I losing something in my life for good.

My parents always have confident on me, it's like every parents in this world, think their baby is the best.

They never know how many more genius in this world, and how little I am to compare with them.

Never compare, he said.

I try.

I never know how to do it, I was thought in this way, always compare with the best, then you'll improve.

The feeling is like this pocket is always full.

Suddenly you notice the middle of the pocket is rotten, it's empty, because there lies some mouse in the middle, bitting the filling everyday!

You try to reach into the pocket to get rid of the mouse, but you can't, coz the top is filled.

You seeing the pocket getting lighter and lighter each day, and you can't do anything about it.

Then one fine day, you see some fat mouse lying on the floor, laughing at you, having nothing done but letting it happen.

How to make everyone happy? How to make myself smatter?

Someone tell me please, perhaps you can?

Monday, July 13, 2009


I am thankful for what I got,
legs to walk, eyes to see, hand to touch, mouth to talk, brain to think, heart to beat.
Parents who loves me dearly, a boyfriend who always there for me, friends who giving me strenght to move on, families who always make me warm when seeing them.
I am seeing good things coming, and I feel good about it.
I will have a good time in UK, yes I did.
I will have people around to help me, yes They do.
I will have parents to miss me when I miss them, yes they do!
I am having good time, study like a degree students and tutors to help out.
I am glad get to study what I wanted to.
I will have critical thinking, and going to do even better in next assignment.
yes, i'm feeling good about this.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Trembling down

Things are shattered all over the place,trying to hold back the nausea of mine, but the inside is rotten.

My head was screwed, the engine was rusted, arms are chained.

You got 2 choices, run to the wall and end the pain, or live like this.

Look at the people who are successful with their life, perhaps they gone through much harder way.

I wasn't born with a smart head, neither good in writing.

Since young I've been asking myself what I good in? I mean, do I have any expertise?

I always thought myself will be an extraordinary, I'm still searching for it.

I miss my yang qing suddenly.

That's the best I can achieve in my life, but not good though.

Suddenly I can't remember the reson I'm here.

Just because of everyone is coming here? Or because I really want to study further?

I wish I could lie under the trees now, the place in the picture, Lake District.

Sunday, July 5, 2009


I'm now here, have my head bursting, reading whole day of books and journals, get rejected for my 900 words plan...clueless.

I've did everything I could have think to work this bloody assignment out, but still haha...i coudn't.

Still have other things to do, but can't do tat well once I can't figure out what'w wrong with my plan.

Long time never update my blog...glad to know someone to drop by!
Thanks Casey~
We crazy ah moi sit in my room gossip for almost 5 hours...assignment discussion kononnya. =.=

Here are some pics on York.
It's a beautiful place, a very historical place. Therefore, if you go without a guide it's difficult to understand the historial building there.
But still, it's gorgeous!

Scenery from the bus, it's breath taking.

York! Dengan kawan!
Behind us is the Roman wall.




Lunch :)

on people's treat!

York Minster, a gothic cathedral. Breath taking as well!







National railway museum.