Lonesome

There's good and bad times, today is the bad day.
After a rough day of traveling, motion sickness, starve, long wait for cab, not-so-great hotel.
I'm tired, and extra lonely.

I've been progressing recently, not to overthink things which I can't change, try to just be who I want to be.

Today...there's too much memories drowning me.

Accidentally scroll to the old messages, the time when you are still courting me, or we were just started, regardless.

So many of them I don't even dare to read them. They are too sweet to be true, my current self is too bitter for this.

One of them said you were proud to have me, we should learn from each other. Well well....
Why are we stopped?

1 month seems so near. I can still see all the pictures in my damn timeline. They are so real, yet so unreal.
I don't even know when does the person in the picture are no longer my buddy, my soul mate, my protector.

Someone asked me yesterday: you really broke up already?
What do you mean by 'really'?

I know, you were saying...' is this a stunt that you pull off to get your man back?'

Sadly, no.

When there's no more love, there's practically nothing left.

What I still have in me, probably is love, or habit, or responsibility, or attachment. To get rid of the root is not an easy task.

We poured in everything, to strike for a balance, to achieve something, another level up.
Half way the string broken, no music can play using broken string.

The whole trip, I don't even think about playing a damn music. Just silent. Black and white.
Dizzy visual.

I need to talk, I need food, I need companion, I need to laugh stupidly now.