Disposable

Disposable: A disposable (also called disposable product) is a product designed for a single use after which it is recycled or is disposed as solid waste. The term often implies cheapness and short-term convenience rather than medium to long-term durability.

In short, disposable is something cheap, and for short-term convenience. After that, it's nothing but trash.
It's been on and off since I have this kind of trashy feeling towards this person. As a friend, he failed miserably. I used to think it's sincere, but looking back, it's all about intention.
When needed something from me, got an A for being pushy (pussy as well).

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Same goes for all other things.
In this universe, when you're not worthy, no one will give you a damn. Or even when people giving you a damn, is because they are in your category.
I actually agree with a mutual benefit kinda state. When you need something, I'll help, when I need company, you'll be there.
Fair and square.

If you are expecting just help from me, you shouldn't have talk to me at the first place. Annoying you know.

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Had a 3 hours conversation with the boss yesterday, I had a headache after that.
To summarize, I'm just not there yet where he want to see me. He's pushing me, to move, poking me to improve. 
Despite how much I want to, sometimes it's not about time management only, it's about talent as well.
It's like you are asking an infant to read standard 3 books. They can see pictures, guess meaning, drawing on it, but not understanding it.

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Regardless of all these. One thing I can't get used to , is annoyed face.
Again, we aim to please, not to piss.
I'm a peacemaker if you know me. If you're in trouble, I'll do my best to help you.
If you want to pick a fight, I'll probably keep quiet and walk away, maybe cry after that.
But all I want, is never piss anyone off.

I've learn to make peace, to 共存, to be ignorance at times, learn to pick up the pieces.
Just need a bit more effort to dilute the feelings.
Good progress I guess.