Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Hang on there, hang on.
Trying to stay positive when the aura and whole feeling is not right.
Nothing been great happen since last year end.
But those are histories.
I think my biggest fear is when nobody needs me.
My achievement and satisfaction is when somebody really need me. Need me to be there, need me to operate, need my comfort, need my existence. Just whoever need me.
I knew it when somebody make me realize you don't need me anymore. It's uneasy.
When someone is doubting on me, I won't fight, I wont' argue, I will walk away and keep quiet.
In others eyes, probably I'm ridiculous.
I heard the sarcasm when you laughed, it's hurtful and disrespect.
I won't defend, deny because no matter what I do, is never better, never good. It's just wrong.
Many things are not alphabet,text, HTML or script. There's things beyond all these, which is love and trust.
The feeling of trust is like lying on a big pillow, bed of soft linen and still smelling the nice softener after-sun smell. It's something you will rely on, and you won't have any doubt on that.
It's the thing you don't need to keep asking, and you know it's there. There for you.
It's the feeling of you know somewhere in the world is where you belongs, the place you can always go back to.
It's rooted in your heart, somewhere deep where you know, it'll always be your's. I think this is how people can lead to marriage.
I don't create dots and lines, I am good at connecting the lines, but I'm learning to create the dots and lines. I need to learn.
I feel little, when things are not up to your standard, and I don't even know what is wrong with myself.
I did my best, tried my best, give everything I could. Still, working hard is not enough. I learned the hard way. But still can't figure out what the solution.
I can only continue to work harder, and harder, like a cow.
You don't treat cow as your partner, they are your slave and food on the plate.