Sunday, April 14, 2013

Sleepless night

Rolling on the bed for half an hour, I realize I can't sleep tonight, despite how tired my eyes is.

Not a productive weekend, did nothing basically, but it's ok, less is more.

Here I am, watching black and white movie, trying to put my thoughts together.

All of sudden, I lost all of them.


Weather been great this weekend, in such weather I would have go out and have a walk, shopping or movie, coffee or even church service. But no I didn't, just let myself drown in my own headache, backache and random thoughts.

Spoken to my mom on the phone, more than half and hour chat today.
I realize after telling her all my issues, she's the only one who can understand me fully, and I'm not hesitate to tell her again and again. Because she's my mother.

I accidentally spill out some of my problem yesterday in the car, I wanted to stop, I tried to stop, because whatever I said there's some unknown treat to an unwanted hurtful feeling. I stopped.

Something, it's already shaped and molded. Something I can't do, can't say, can't be the person I am. Because I'm not allow to, because I am 'wrong' to do so. Watch your word, watch your action. Do nothing more.


Some issue with my tax paying pisses me off yesterday. But what can I do? That's one good thing I'm good at, to forgive. Whatever it is, I'm good also at forget.

History shouldn't repeat itself, first few times are forgiven, but not repeated mistake.

Girl, learn, grow up and never look back.

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