I'm the 6th, perhaps 7th or more...
My value can only be seen when I'm needed the most.
Most people take me for granted, even for those who say they will never do that, still doing that subconsciously.
Those who treated me truly from the heart, are getting misty, blurry, hazy...whatever you like to call it.
I can't see them clearly anymore, can't be sure that they will be right beside me, can't feel them in my palm, can't hold them that often, can't see them in my future.
I can't even sorted out a handful of person who will be there, laugh and tear with me in my contact.
The damn e learning is getting me much stress these days.
PMS as well.
Why things never go as what I think?
Perhaps I need to revise Law of Attractions again.
It gives me faith, strenght and power to hope for the future, for something good.
How do I move on when I see no security and certainty in front of my path?
I'm looking at the people, same old faces, different feelings.
I wondering in my mind, do they notice about me? What do they think about me? Are they feel the same as I do?
People are laughing by my side, my realm is gloomy than ever.
The expression on their face, make me think of my good old days, when I still in the bond of the kingdom.
Things change drastically, I sometimes wonder why would this happen?
Am I worth to give up so many good things because I want to pursue future?
Things changed drastically.
They used to smile differently, laugh differently, treating you differently.
It can be better, it can be worst.
When I thought I finally found someone who can accept who the real me was....the cycle repeat itself.
How I wish I am FourFeetNine.
I guess this is my instinct, trapped in this wheel of life.
Twice I tasted the bitter of falling into a quicksand.
It's fast, it's adventurous, at the same time there's sand in your mouth, and you taste sand.
Sometimes I just like to dream for someone could spoil me badly.
Life is about give and take.
I've been living within myself for so long, and I went through trillions of things in my brain cell.
When I reveal my true self somewhere in the dark, I hope to see the light.
My light is off. Perhaps the bulb is burnt.