Friday, April 10, 2009

I know...

I'm the 6th, perhaps 7th or more...

My value can only be seen when I'm needed the most.
Most people take me for granted, even for those who say they will never do that, still doing that subconsciously.

Those who treated me truly from the heart, are getting misty, blurry, hazy...whatever you like to call it.

I can't see them clearly anymore, can't be sure that they will be right beside me, can't feel them in my palm, can't hold them that often, can't see them in my future.

I can't even sorted out a handful of person who will be there, laugh and tear with me in my contact.

The damn e learning is getting me much stress these days.

PMS as well.

Why things never go as what I think?
Perhaps I need to revise Law of Attractions again.
It gives me faith, strenght and power to hope for the future, for something good.

How do I move on when I see no security and certainty in front of my path?

I'm looking at the people, same old faces, different feelings.
I wondering in my mind, do they notice about me? What do they think about me? Are they feel the same as I do?

People are laughing by my side, my realm is gloomy than ever.
The expression on their face, make me think of my good old days, when I still in the bond of the kingdom.

Things change drastically, I sometimes wonder why would this happen?
Am I worth to give up so many good things because I want to pursue future?

xxx

Things changed drastically.

They used to smile differently, laugh differently, treating you differently.
It can be better, it can be worst.


When I thought I finally found someone who can accept who the real me was....the cycle repeat itself.

How I wish I am FourFeetNine.

I guess this is my instinct, trapped in this wheel of life.

Twice I tasted the bitter of falling into a quicksand.
It's fast, it's adventurous, at the same time there's sand in your mouth, and you taste sand.

Sometimes I just like to dream for someone could spoil me badly.

Life is about give and take.

I've been living within myself for so long, and I went through trillions of things in my brain cell.

When I reveal my true self somewhere in the dark, I hope to see the light.

My light is off. Perhaps the bulb is burnt.

2 comments:

szetooweiwen said...

Hey sayang,

Just cos we're not by your side doesn't mean we don't care. I care but i don't know how to show it, i'm a horrible friend i guess :(
Everything in life is uncertain, the only thing in life that is certain is death and well, taxeslah. But i've learned that it is this uncertainty that makes me want to seize opportunities and to do things cos i might regret if i don't. We only have one life to live after all. If you fall, just laugh and get up again. Be confident, its important to stay positive and see good things even when everything seems to go wrong.

It's easy to have relationships/friendships but difficult to maintain them. It takes effort, trust and understanding. For the past few months i've been very confused as well, i don't know what i'm gonna do, where i'm gonna go or who i'm gonna meet in the future. Damn scared lor sometimes. One minute you have everything and the next you don't.

Just want to let you know that you'll always have us, and that if you need support or someone to talk to, my ears are always ready to listen :)

Sayang you ok?

weisin said...

:)

How nice to see you drop by!
I'm juz emo, nothing much.
I know you guys are always around, misses you so much!

It's true, relationship and friendship is hard to maintain...well,people is hard to deal with, most of the time I don't know whether what I've done is ok for them?

I guess this is the stage where everyone of us will feel the same as u and me, no direction in life.

But you'll succeed in your life, hopefully mine too!