Habit

 Walk around town yesterday, to the infamous Chatuchak market and Asiatique at night.
Asiatique is somewhere you'll like, this is the only thing I can relate to.

Chill, cool breeze, at the Chao Praya riverfront, nice drinking and hang out place.
It's some habit which I can't get rid of after so long.

Going back tomorrow finally. Finally.

Restless

Been torturing myself these few days, even weekend.
I sleep really really late, hope to wake up late the next day. But I woke up at 7 freaking am.
And then trying very hard to get back to sleep, turn from side to side, counting sheep. End up thinking about non sense.

Then had bad dream... dreamed that my bonus is less than 1.5 k. Suck ass.

Things keep spinning in my head. Insecurity, anyone can replace me, who needs me then?
I got to be irreplaceable, at least to someone, someone who won't dispose me.

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Weir Dreams Compilation


I really had some weird dreams here.
Yesterday after knowing Liverpool lost in the match, I dreamed that Gerrard and the rest of the members slept over in my house (don't ask me why).
The were extremely upset, and I tried to comfort them. But at the same time, I asked for picture together with Gerrard.

God knows why, he need to pray before taking picture (ROFL)
I waited anxiously for the photo, but after the prayer something came up.

You were in another house and I ask  you to come over. And I show you aroudn the rooms they slept in.
Some of them share rooms, with single bed...(ROFL)
Then we forgotten about the photo.

Am trying to rearrange their room arrangement, so no one need to share bed... and the rest of the story is not clear.

Alamak...really restless.

自娱娱人

一个人的旅行其实没有很精彩。
买东西没人给意见。
自己一个人也不敢乱晃， 怕一个不小心走丢了，语言不通， 找不到回头路。
想多点几样菜试吃，但又吃不完。
想点不一样的菜式，可是又表达不了。
要找个地方歇息，可是对不熟悉的地方没有安全感。
Saw a lot of Swenson here.  Feel like having ice cream but no one to share with. I don't have sweet tooth after all, just an natural response when I see things like that.

你有过这样的经验吗？
就是啊，想点餐，可是怕没有座位。 想把东西先放下再点餐，可是又担心没人看管。最后就放弃了，到一些比较熟悉的地方。 比如麦当劳。

可是啊，我还是可以自娱娱人的。
自己一个人独白，自己说话。
最常做的就是给隔壁座的设计对白。
有时候还蛮好笑的。

今天看到一个叔叔自个儿做在麦当劳，啃着外带的面包，没有点餐。
我在想，那么大摇大摆的走进来，该不会是这间麦记的老板吧。
表问我笑点在哪里，自己给自己设计对白就是要那么无聊的。

－－－

Walked around town today, finally!
I would expect to spend whole day in town, luckily I didn't start my journey early.
I finished walking 3 malls in 3 hours time. Most of the time plain walking, the stuff in the mall are nice, fancy but not cheap. I have budget only for market stuff :P

Had a bad headache in the afternoon, because I missed my coffee today.
It had become my bad habit don't know since when. Although as much I want to cut down, the headache will remind me of the caffeine dosage.

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Most of the Thai people will speak to me in Thai, few of the clients also said the same thing.
So recently I'm trying 'pretend-to-be-Thai-people' game.
Another self entertainment.

I used to buy fruits from this fruit stall in front of the apartment.
Usually he'll charge 15 bath for mango. Today I tried to pretend as Thai, using my very limited Thai and a 'I-know-what-you-sayin' face to cheat him. And he charge 10bath only.

Meaning all this while he's charging me 'foreigner' price.

And I realize if I don't have exact change for taxi, they will 'automatically' take tips for themselves.

Small money I don't mind, just a new discovery. 

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Trying to get more sleep this morning, but I'm awake at 7, and force myself back to sleep.
When I'm half asleep, in my dream I'm waking you up, doing the usual routine.
Back rubbing, breakfast, newspaper, wake you up...etc.

Then only I realize I'm in thousand miles away, I don't need to do anything, just sleep.

Starting imagining the house in my sleep, the coffee aroma, the bed, the morning bird chirping, laundry, dishes, breakfast, small talk...etc.

Well well...must be too boring here.

紫气东来

Airport art

Do you know, when you get rid of something bad, good things will happen?
Ironically, due to my personality and character last time, I got lots of criticism for being cocky and arrogant.
Then, I toned down recently, or should I say I lost all the spirit recently, but still I don't get compliment?

Saw many posts about traffic jam today, somehow I stuck in Bangkok jam as well, but not as bad as PJ. But I do miss home, the Friday mood, the happy hour, the chit chat, the bed, my dying flowers, the room of pain.

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#onlyinthailand

It's Saturday tomorrow, gonna be a tourist and walk around town. Siam Paragon? or Terminal 21?
I realize the people in the town center is not that naive and kind, compare to Bangna. Taxi driver in the town will rip you off, tuk tuk will rip you off, traffic is horrible.
When I walked back home today, it's the first time I felt danger since I came here for couple of times.
Luckily, I'm here in one piece.

Maybe my colleague is my lucky charm as well, she protect me from being rip off, that's why I only see the good side of the city.

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I know I've made mistake, especially during this period of time, and he have absolute reason to be angry.
Human can't make mistake?

Or just admit it, no one is perfect like you...high and mighty.
I always notice great and successful people dont sleep and rest. I particularly need these.
Need chill, need friend, need to talk, need a shelter, need to rest, need to stretch myself, need a peace of mind.

Eyebrow-less

Beginning

Finally, taking a sip of cold water...and calm down.
Such a sucky day it was yesterday, and since today early morning I've never been properly rest, neither drink proper amount of water.

Feeling dizzy and doze off on the way back from meeting. My colleague was talking to me and I zone out.

Try not to be too negative about my losses, but I'm official 1.5k poorer. Just burn 1.5k like that, it would have become the dp of my uncertain new car, or an iPad for my dad, or something nice to myself. But they just burn like that.

Take it as a lesson to myself and never repeat again, I did this twice, got screwed up by boss and I'll never do it again. This is my new year resolution.

Had some difficulties last night, but manage to find help when I'm the most hopeless and lost.
After that I broke down again, weeping in tears and try to calm down. Sob to sleep after that.

Again, I didn't ask for more, just a normal 1 day, or maybe half a day stress-free chillout getaway.
Can anyone entertain me?

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Went for a transit in Koh Samui on the way to BKK, the airport is so amazing!
The airport itself already make me feel like vacation, I will go back to that place for sure and have a good holiday.
The small airport have ponds, with lotus and well trimmed plants, trees, cabanas...very relaxing once I step in the airport.

Sadly, it was a transit, nothing more.

Passerby.

无题

要把余温好好的保留，好好的缅怀。
好想不受拘束，没有烦恼的度过一段很轻松的假日。
脖子肩膀都很疼了，没有人会因为这个而停留的， 向前走吧。

California King Bed

Geberra again!

It's the same flower this week. I'm a very uninteresting person, will stick to one thing I like, for the longest period.

Like food, I always eat the same thing. Boring, but I think is the attachment which eats in to my brain.

This morning when I refuse to wake up and work, I knew I need a break, badly.
First I forgotten to set alarm, but I woke up on time.
Next I went back to bed, and feel reluctant to work.
Then, I spend my time busy for nothing, and only try to drag myself to work, 1 hour late.

I just need a quiet getaway, from issues and work, sorrows and sadness for a good 48 hours, to recharge. No planning, no agenda, no hassle; just rest, movie and peace.

Had so much in my mind recently...necessary and unnecessary thoughts. No time to think of holiday yet, that why I request for a getaway, not a holiday.

Fear me not.

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Saw this lame viral message in FB. Lame it may sounds, but so true.

Did you know the people that are the strongest are usually the most sensitive? Did you know the people who exhibit the most kindness are the first to get mistreated? Did you know the one who takes care of others all the time are usually the ones who need it the most? Did you know the 3 hardest things to say are I love you, I'm sorry, and Help me? Sometimes just because a person looks happy, you have to look past their smile and see how much pain they may be in. To all my friends who are going through some issues right now-

Lame it may sounds, but so true.

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This blog space suppose to be my realm, the only place in the world where I can reveal my darkest side of me, and stay all the negativity here.

That's why it never meant to be a 'blog' per se, it's more like my personal journal. No matter how lazy I am to update, how sad the things is here, they will just remain here. Look at me, no one like emo bitch.

Because emo bitch is too mainstream.  

I can't see myself behaving like this to anyone. I realize I'm super uninteresting, that I can't find other topic to speak about myself. 
Work? boring
Gossip? doesn't exist. 
that's all.

And before someone mentioned, I didn't notice I like to talk to myself so much. Even way before, what I used to do when I walk from school to the bus station, I always talk to myself.
It's a 20 minutes walk distance. 4.30pm, Hot, under the sun, walking and heavy school bag.
I always talk to myself, or sing. 

Sometimes I don't speak, I monologue in my mind.

Inner self maybe? It's the time you see yourself differently. Rethink the first impressions, the first perception. 
It's like a report, a short summary to inner self. 

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Flying again tomorrow, things don't change.
Wake up- work- grab something from the market- work- lunch- work- grab groceries- food-go home- work- sleep.

No one is interested in this boring story, no one gonna ask, but I gonna say it anyway.

INTERESTING FACTS IN CONVENIENT STORE
1) Thailand convenient store is so amazing, they sell FRESH food, FRESH ingredient even after 10pm.
2) They have big boobs girl in FHM, but all in Thai language.
3)  Liquor in convenient store, is cheap.
4) They have wide range of instant noodle, mostly tomyam flavour.
5) Good frozen food.
6) Instead of burger stall outside 7/11 here, they have noodle stalls.
7) Thai people LOVE fruits. You can buy fruits everywhere, cut or uncut.
8) The crab inside Som Tam, is fermented crab, some are more than 1 month old =.=
9) Thai people speak very very vrey soft and gentle. Including guys. They are not lady boys, just gentle.

Uninteresting right...