Fucking time wasting

I'm 30, about to turn 31 in 9 months time.

I used to think, let's wait a while longer, wait until I move up to another level then it's good for my profile. But seriously, I always said I love digital, but what is good for me even when I'm at another level? Glamarize sales machine?

Today is the day, where I need to remember this.

I can't waste time learning about corporate coldness, corporate insanity where people just work without question, never fight back the corrupted system, no question against work that is not recognized, people who can't make decision, and many many layers of bureaucracy.

I'm sure corporate is good, it's stable, it's systematic, very structured. I used to enjoy this till today.

I'm furious. Furious for doing free work, angry for effort not captured, pissed for system that is constantly ambiguous and no one is voicing out,  most importantly I'm angry and sad at the same time, but there's no one that I can talk to. Because bitch, this is your fucking choice.

You fuck with your own time, you choose to waste your time hoping miracle will happen, you think you are playing strategy with your career and hope that it will reward you. You believe in the sugar coat that all the people force feeding you. You are the one that cause so much anger within.

I always play good. I play the good person. Maybe not the most friendly one but I always try to avoid fighting. Avoid problem, avoid blaming, avoid anger, avoid problem before the problem might appear. But I was told that I'm the one who is not forward and frank enough to protect my interest.

You can sound me for all the sour faces and crazy anger attitude, but NEVER on my character and attitude towards my work.

I should be now, fucking knowledgeable about what I'm passionate about, and work in a happy environment with people who I spent so much time with that I call them friends and family.

my happiness is my conscious choice, I just have to figure out how.