Bon jour~

I'm so fail at taking picture, no group shot. But finally I got it! The hand made card! On 30th October, memorable.

Thanks for your belly button flower too! (but I want a real one can? *grin* )

Smile

SMILE more!

I don't want to be an emo bitch, don't want to be fierce, don't wan the xiao mei meis to be scared of me.


Think about my situation if you were me.

I was brought up in this environment, no one will care for me if I don't save myself.
Just because I'm fat and ugly.

The only thing I can do is to shield myself, do best on what I do, and sometimes have to be emotionless to people, who treated me unfairly.

I used to have a friend who bullied me a lot, she even use a pen to poke through my skin, tear off my uniform sleeve. I used to have bruises on my arm, because she pinched me whenever she feel like it. My mom wanted to go and report to the headmaster, but she didn't because I'll get bully more if she did.

I know I have to be strong ever since. It's in my blood, to strike.

I'm not the girl next door if you are expecting me to be. I'm not the gentle, loving bubly kind of person if you know me, or if you don't know me.

So now the bubly gentle, loving and kind girls think that I'm too scary ... fine.

I'll try to become a lovable person. Not for the girls, but for guys to love me more. (sounds cool huh? *grin*)

Full stop.

Last day of my favorite month

Hello 31st October!

Today is the last day of my favorite month. Looking back the days I spent in this month, not exactly happy, but memorable for sure.

If I'm given a chance, I would love to start October all over again. Without the hardship, minus the tears, without another person and just me.

 

When trust shaken, every moment I had with myself I'm feeling shaken as well. Hate this feeling and hate myself for being an insecure bitch.

 I'm gonna be strong, be fine, be ok, be fantastic, and SHINE!

The choice of word, the topic I talk about, the movie I watched, the things I do...everything in my life I have to think twice now. Still can't have a good sleep at night, things can be darn simple but actually hard to achieve.

It's like when you are used to using spoon to eat rice, you can't get along with chopstick, even though you know how to use chopstick.

I'll appreciate everything I have now, although I might loose them one day. Grateful is the rule of thumb.

共勉之

repost from fb:

有位心理学家曾写道，一个成熟称得上真爱的恋情必须经过四个阶段，那就是：共存、反依赖、怀疑、共生，之间转换所需的时间不一定，因人而易。

第一个阶段：共存。这是热恋时期，不论何时何地总希望能腻在一起。

第二个阶段：反依赖。一方想多一点时间做自己想做的事，这时另一方就会感到被冷落，总是因为一点小事去计较和数落。

第三个阶段：怀疑。这是第二个阶段的延续，要求更多独立自主的时间，总是觉得对自己不好了，没以前爱自己了。

第四个阶段：共生。这时新的相处之道成形，你们已经成为最亲密的人。你们在一起相互扶持、一起开创属于你们人生你们在一起不会互相牵绊，而会互相成长，他（她）就像是你的亲人。

但是，好多人都通不过第二或第三阶段，选择分手。其实很多事只要好好沟通就会没事，可是想太多和任性就是无法避免。

你发现了吗？你们本没有相同之处，外表不相像，性格也是南辕北辙，但是相爱然后在一起，日复一日，年复一年，你会惊讶你的眼睛竟有点像他的眼睛。他的微笑竟也有点像你的微笑。你们走路的步伐变得相似。你们说话的语气也愈来愈像。你们爱喝同一杯饮料。你们的口头禅变得一样。你们总能猜到对方下一句话是什么。原来我们会变成我们所爱的人。

你在不知不觉中让他改掉了他爱皱眉的坏习惯。这个改变，或许连他自己也不曾察觉。他在不知不觉中让你变得做事不再马马虎虎。你差点认不出自己。会在不知不觉中逐渐变成对方理想中的人，这种改变，绝对不是刻意的。两个人相处时间越久，气质也越相近，有一天你惊讶地发现，这样的你们多么默契。

或许再也遇不到这样的感情。深深爱着一个人的时候，你原来真的会一点一点失去自己，可是为什么你还会觉得快乐呢。大概是因为你在失去的同时，也赚了，你把他的气质和他的微笑都赚回来了。

朋友，你们走到哪个阶段了？世界上遇到唯一的你多么不容易，能不能不要轻言放弃。能不能一直走下去。请不要说下辈子，我多怕下辈子再遇不到你。所以就这辈子，就让我们一直在一起走下去。

幸福

张曼娟说，幸福的时候最害怕，因为下一秒就可能让幸福溜走了。

所以我现在什么都不怕，该走的就会走，该留的走不了。
所以我输得起。

深呼吸

呼～～吸～～呼～～～～～
不冷静的时候就是要深。呼。吸。。。。

好了！
笑笑没烦恼，慢慢来比较快。

有时候堂皇的道理每个人都懂， 就好像不要当众放屁一样，可是屁藏在屁股里很不健康，不放不快。

笑！ 长得可爱的人笑起来讨喜。
长的不可爱又凶神恶煞的人更加要笑。 就算笑起来象哭，还是得笑！
卖笑卖笑～

好快了哦～花都开好了！

Happy Big 4!

Long weekend last week, had a most memorable weekend, the ups, downs and everything in between.

It's our 4th anniversary on Saturday, having you and BB for our anniversary is a bliss. The only thing we didn't do is a picture together. It meant so so much to me by celebrating 4th years together, who knows we can survive for so long, I feel grateful for manage to been through it. No matter what happened in the future, there's only ONE 4th anniversary with you in my entire life.

I've made myself anniversary card for both of us, it's been so long I hand made something for u. I wanted something which I can keep can treasure for long, so I made myself a card as well (knowing that you probably won't buy card) . I hope you do write me a card and I shall keep it.

There's a lot of ups and downs recently. Sometimes it's easier to said than done, forgiving and forgo things that clinging me so much. I will try, try hard to do so. Just bear in mind, if things turn sour, I would want to leave just the sweetness, and stay that way.

Happy big 4 my dear, hope you enjoyed the day!

 

Hearty meal in Westin Hotel. Thanks to Aunt Suzanne.