Normalize

I'm usually blog with a title in my head, but today I nothing in my head so just f it... title is lame as shit.

Well, we finally had the trip we always wanted. A trip planned over beer, attendees agreed volunteered and half forcing, but it happened!

I've looked forward to it before my Japan trip.. ohya Japan, gonna write about it later.
2 days after my Osaka trip here I off to another retreat with my favorite people!

I guess compare with other friends we spend relatively more time with each other, at least we will meet 1 month once I guess?
All of them worked under one roof except me. I'm so grateful that I'm included into that friends circle.

It should be a talking, bullshitting, playing laughing trip. I thought there will be guitar there but there isn't, so jukebox from phone it is!

Now I'm back to reality, can't tell exactly what kind of feeling I carry back with me. It's mixed feelings.

At some point I felt warm, looking at those limited pictures we took, and glad it happened.
I felt happy too with so much laughter of crazy drunkard and bitches talk.
I felt one kind probably I had a random fight out of some random reason I don't even think is worth to talk about it.

But I guess I just kept my annoyance in here and in my brain, so little provoke is enough to make me blast.

 

But honestly, ever since the cat is out of the bag I felt so much brighter after connecting the dots.
I guess being left half hanging and too much guessing is not healthy.

What if you REALLY refuse to hang out anymore because of your important another half? I get it!
Do I look like a dumb bitch who can't understand priorities?

I accept the fact that things changed, so don't say nothing changed. Everything changed, you just fail to see it.

Everything aside, I feel really lifted when I know you're happy. I guess that's what friends are for, regardless how much toxic I kept inside but I'm still in the same team!

 I spend a 10-15 min talking to another joker about some shit I had recently, although I'm f-ing sure you won't remember when you awake but I do feel better. kamxia.

I guess there's really too much emotions to digest yesterday, I can't even get a few hours of good sleep.

I hope I can forget that face really fast, not many people yelled at me in my 29 years life. And I'm usually very forgiving and forgetful.

But those who did, unfortunately I remembered.

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I really wished I was drunk too. So I don't need to feel shitty after the shit.

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I'm an adaptive person. I just need time to adjust, but usually I get to adjust after some time.
Another month to go and I'm 30!


I promised myself to live my last 20s the best way I can, before I realize it's already December!

I keep mumbling =..=