Fated

有事钟无艳，无事夏迎春。

Why must I surrounded by people like this always.
Being nice is something that I always want to do, I believe in giving in more, will get fruitful return.

However the reality proves me wrong, many. freaking. times.
My kindness been taken granted, and people only come to me when they have problem.
I goddam admit that sometimes I need attention, and insecure about my position, that's why I always want to be nice and kind to others.
No, I don't find this wrong, I'm doing the right thing and don't think that I'm taken people for granted.

I took everything upfront, give you all the support you need, all the time spent, end up I feel nothing, still empty and insecure.

What am I looking for?
I guess I'm just having low self esteem, just because I'm not as adorable as the others, not as feminine as the others, a bit more independent than others.
And there you go! Viola! I'm a guy/ girl.

Being myself doesn't give me any advantage. Not being myself gives my tough time.

I'm such a loser Libra. Can't decide what I want always. What I want for life? What I want to achieve at this point of time?

Such an attention freak I am.

Why do I have such feeling? Low self esteem sucks max.