Being myself

Kinda ran out of title, although I don't blog frequent :p

Imma Singaporu desu! After all day long of presentation, food munching and fighting with sleepiness, finally had my hot shower and sitting here, trying to avoid work.

This is my X trip to SG, I still like here.
Probably each time I had short trip, which makes me still like here quite a lot.

Met up with Yee Yee yesterday with her 80% look-alike hubby.
Talked so much about people who are getting married this year, kinda scary to me.

Never in my childhood, till now I'm thinking about getting married, at least not that early.
This is what I always said to my friends: ' Girls vs Guys are unfair. Girls have shorter 'unmarried' grace period than men, WHY?'

We fought so hard for our life, for academy, career. Soon after that family, marriage and children have to come in place. And there goes your children's academy, studies, well being....the list goes on.

Women, you are a fighter!

I'm not anti marriage, I love kids! But I just don't think I'm achieving anything YET. And I have no confident I can have all the time in the world to fight for career, after you have something call family in your life.

you know what I mean?

The transition from just graduate, to just started career, until now...marriage. A bit too soon for me, again, scary.

Well, this trip has been very fruitful to me till now. Everytime I come to office I felt inspirational, make me persist in my work even more.

More challenge ahead. 5 PROPOSALS pending. Seems like wednesday when I go back to office, it's gonna be disaster.

Awesome view from my hotel when I first check in. Bikini mo aru yo!

 The must-drink!

SiTF (sounds like STFU to me) award medal! Yay to iSnap team!

被打败了

这次感觉上完全被打败了。

从前无论多么苛刻的责骂，我只要哭一哭， 第二天就没事了。
这次哭不出来，只有隐隐的痛，还有无限的失望。

还有一种要放弃的感觉，糟透了。

胸口闷闷的，谁可以听我诉苦啊！！

What can I do?

What can I do to make you love me
What can I do to make you care
What can I say to make you feel this
What can I do to get you there



The feelings deep down, with much anger and disappointment.
What can I do to make you happy? Sometimes you have to admit it that I am plain dump.
I don't think I didn't try my best, but my best could be your worst.
I have given out my everything, but still nothing to you.
I just want recognition and sense of successful.

You know that I'm a follower, that's why I'm here. I will try, harder, to not being a follower.
Urgh, when your spirit is torn apart, it's hard to get yourself up together.

Keep on fighting girl, if not, there's still plenty of trees in the forest, you will find your way out.

Systematic?

I myself, as a person, I have to admit that I am extremely messy, doing what appears before me and I hate to put back things after use. I'm trying hard to learn to be less messy...

However, I used to work in a very systematic environment, everything have a 'system', 'Procedure'...
Although they are not perfect, always tweaking here and there, but at least no one question about the credibility. People trust this company because they are long in this industry, and they are (so call) listed company ..well well..

My life turn 360 after changing job. Things I exposed is totally different, ways of dealing problems and troubleshoot is very 'creative', handling people and hierarchy... typical style working in big corporation.
The only matter is I'm servicing this big corp, things become a bit different when you are 'part of them', yet not 'part of them'.

I'm glad I given a chance to expose to so many things, and so many try and error. I think I will definitely benefited from this one fine day.

Systematic is a utopia we try to practice as a start up company, however people do expect a lot from us. I'm very proud actually, because of the capability of my co workers.As a start up, there's a lot of things, are done by per request/ favor/ help/ ad hoc. There's too many influence to disrupt the order. Oh no, there's no excuse in this industry. There's only hierarchy to follow. Do as follow.

Now only I understand once my ex manager told me about this during my first interview: ' Sometimes you have to learn how to say no.'

Problems occurs recently, work stuff, make me rethink the ways I used to deal with my problems. There's certain decision will be made by certain party, and that decision is a finalize answer. There's no doubt, no question, no discussion. Final answer.

Issue become so easy to solve last time, because no one will argue and demand, 'HE' says so, that's the final answer. I'm thankful I'm given such an environment to learn from mistake, crisis managment especially. Still far from perfect, but at least one step closer.

Got to step up straight, look up, speak in a firm voice. Do things wrong? Admit. Can't do it? NO.

Feel grateful? Thank you.

SCREAM

There's some buried anger and frustration in my mind, and I want to just S.C.R.E.A.M...
I just hate this brand, the one I'm holding in my hand.

Full stop, back to work.

伯乐？

I came across many friends in my life, at this point of time, if we graduated the same time, we should be working for 2 and a half years.

How many job have you changed? How many people have you met? How much experience have you gained?

Most importantly, have you found your mentor?

I'm lucky to found my mentor, and even lead me to meet more amazing person. People who will never come into my life if I didn't met my mentor.

They taught me how important it is to contribute, to sparks, to do good on what you do best.
The Energy that they have enough to impress me (I'm easy to be impressed though), not to mention the talent and passion.

This should explains..why that level of stress still keep me in this position :)

Snowball

Problems always exist, never solve completely and it's like a tumor. Growing and spreading decease. Can't you see the problem is snowballing? It's ok, at least it's easier than walking. LOL.