I SEE ONLY INDIGO BLUE FROM MY EYES

Lovely

2011-10-21T23:48:00.000-07:00

Curi gambar ya!

I'm not like princess-sy kind of person, who dressed like a princess, act like one, favorite color is pink, and even boyfriend called them Princess.
But, I really like to read wedding blogs like Green Wedding Shoes.

Ang moh kind of wedding pictures are always warm, filled with happiness and blessing, everyone are having fun, and the couple of the day looks HAPPY.

None of the wedding I attended close to what I always read in the blog, but recently I attended one, which is far better than what I saw in the pictures. Congratulations Szetoo Weiwen and George!

They are the sweetest couple I know, and marriage seems to be very natural for them, something that they meant to do together.

I can't describe things better than the bride herself, Szetoo have described nicely in her own blog. Congratulations again!

Do note the video at the end of the post. Bestest wedding video ever! Oh and they showed an interview in the wedding banquet as well. I almost teared when I watched that. Szetoo and I are not like normal girl-friends. We don't talk to each other much, but she understand me well. When we used to team up in college, she always have the same view as I do. I am sucks at descriptions but her thoughts always filled in my blanks. Such a special friend I have.

I still remember the day she walked towards me and said she's getting married! That was a sunny afternoon in her room in Atlantic Point. Time flies and the memories stay :)

Recent addiction

2011-08-30T21:54:00.000-07:00

Love both their voice <3

Update

2011-08-30T08:41:00.000-07:00

It's been a while (a long while) since I abandon my own blog. I even need to think for a second for my own blog URL. Sad.

Alright, quite update of my current live.

1) Safely, 3rd month of my new job is coming. I can sti
ll remember how hard the feeling is to step out of my comfort zone, lovely colleagues and come to a whole new environment.
It's hard not to think about my previous job when you have no colleague to face, only boss. I think I'm doing quite well to lunch alone now, way to go girl!

Work.

2) Moving towards Apple. For job reason, I have changed my PC to mac, and Nokia to Iphone. Most of the times I will get 'Whoo Whoa' from people. However this is not the 'package' which I agreed to. Apparently my bosses are hardcore Steve Job fans, and they believe in to work and present better your work to the world, you must first have the best equipment. Not only device, intelligence as well.

3) Car accident, again (I know).
This time round is not my fault AT ALL. Apparently the one who hit me, was JT. Weirdest accident ever huh...He was hit by the car behind, and his car hit mine, which is right in front of his. So end of story, I gotten my car a spanking new butt, JT gotten his car a new forehead and buttock.

4) RM 200000 loan.
With lots of help from my much love papa and mama, I finally achieved my first dream before 25 years old. Do you call this, LOA (law of attractions), or determination?
Whichever it is, I gonna cut down on all my expenses. 200k loan is no joke. Finger cross, I will be fine.

5) Balllllllli!
Went to Bali for a week escape. Away from emails (partially), traffic (unlikely) and Internet (sadly), we are recharged and had so much fun! The beaches are stunning, the sea breeze lingering, you can literally feel the stickiness on your skin, probably the sea salt. But it feels so good. I can't forget the 15 minutes of leisure I have in Ubud, a decent coffee house with a fine cup of flat white. The 15 minutes we have is a bliss. It's best describe as 'life' at that moment.

Other than that, travel is not complete with good food. The suckling pork ribs and a bowl full of beef ball soup (Bakso) still 'haunting' me. Can't get enough of these.

6) Share price big sale
Not a good news for me, can't escape from the Bursa riot, and hence lesser money to do renovation and furnishing. Time will do the curing I know, nothing else I can do except waiting.

People around me are having drastic change. They are getting aggressive, motivated and moving forward. I started to feel the stress of leaving behind. Time to get some sparks after vacation. Like one of my Star colleague always says, 'think Weisin, think!'

The more we expose to the world, the more desire I have in my inner self. It's like before you expose to Sushi Zanmai, you will be satisfied with Sushi King's crappy sushi. Once you have the best, you will not go back. It's the same in life.

I see more things, meet more people, know more successful entrepreneur, the more I generate desire. Better life, better future, better path way. Sometimes desire needs money, it's like buying a pair of Marks & Spencer's shoes, who wanna go to Vincci to buy a pair of overpriced flats!

Money is the key, to drive all these desire to reality. I know I will have what I wanted, no fear to grow my wish list, just work harder to grow my fortune.

Hardest decision, ever!

2011-05-03T04:09:00.000-07:00

I have finally made a hardest decision ever.

Seeing the disappointment in my colleagues and boss's eyes, is painful.
I'm a person who hardly say no to anyone, even though I say no, will be a very indirect no. This time I need to place a cold hard fact in front of myself, and saying, 'No thanks for all the opportunities. No thanks for looking up to me. No thanks for the monetary compensation.'

Man, this is hard!

However, I still love this company to the bit, I love the culture here, the people here. I definitely see the colabo coming in the future.

I'm gonna do this for once

2011-03-03T18:46:00.000-08:00

I'm gonna do something really Bimbo and stupid to make a record for my life, for this period of time, when I'm heading 24 years old, I still doing something like this.

I always fancy about voice, I love to listen to deep, powerful, convincing voice.
I always fond of fingers too, long slim, clean cut and fair fingers.
I like looking at beautiful eyes, not the sissy kind, is eyes like deep blue sea; like how Suzzie Salmon describe her mother in Lovely Bones. Deep eyes, where you can see endless emotion in a pair of eyes. (And sometimes maybe with the help of eyeliner and smokey eyes).

Found the ideal look I want in guy. Just the look, and the eyes, and the lashes, and the eyes again, and the voice. OK I'm done.

Alrite, laugh as loud as you want!

My new fancy, TOP from Big Bang.

Funny name, funny korean thick make up boy band, but wait until you see him rapping.
I have no immune system towards rappers, especially cute good looking rapper with deep dimple.

OK, come laugh again.

I'm starting to do something really childish and weird, but it spice up my life.
It's like how I admire W-inds last time, early in the morning the daily dose is to watch their videos. Daily supplement is the music, and the rest of the day will be exceptionally good, good mood, good traffic, good smile~

Maybe in few weeks time I will not fancy him anymore, this post will serve as a prove for myself for childish act, for going back to 18 again.

Hello 18!

New Year Resolutions

2011-01-04T04:29:00.000-08:00

1) To be a lovable girl. Do like how others do, how people can black faced but still lovable, and VERY lovable.

2) To be better driver, NOT to bang my car EVER again.

3) Buy myself something I really want, such as Camera, Curler, Starbucks mug, a pair of nais oxford, a really really nais purse, an expensive jeans, Iphone, something indulge...now you know what I mean? I can't even decide this myself?

4) Be proactive on work! Act before people, act fast, act smart!

5) Do more listening than talking.

6) Finish reading Stephen Covey's book. And apply.

7) Do something in my career which I can proudly say out loud. Something!

8) Send my parents money.

9) Start TRADING. I mean seriously, start.

10) Find treatment, solution, medicine for him.

11) Stand out before my boss. I'm still nobody in front of the boss. I need to grow, from a small potato.

12) Save another 15k for house.

13) Be grateful for life. Stop looking at others' pretty hair, pretty dress, shoes and bag.

14) Find my mentor for dinner, at least once.

15) Appreciate friendship, learn how to ask from people. Take more than give.

Ultimately, to be happy.

溃疡

2010-12-28T07:25:00.001-08:00

嘴巴溃疡，心也溃疡了。
嘴里说不出好话，心里也不能压抑了。
呼。

雨天

2010-12-28T04:50:00.000-08:00

我最爱的十二月怎么啦。。。好事呢？

--------------------------------

下雨了。。。而且还是一从巴士踏出来就下起倾盆大雨。
老天，不是那么幽默吧！

好，我认命。

雨越下越大，淋雨中也不那么好当。
雨水好冰。 TMD 电影都是骗人的！
为什么别人淋雨那么潇洒，我那么狼狈！
连内衣都湿透了真是的。

好不容易走进电梯，身上滴着水，脸上的妆大概也胡得七七八八了。
为了不要吓到人，我还是一本正经的，假装没事，很自在的站在电梯里。

估计后面两个男生一定是觉得我有问题。

这个时候，我只需要一把伞，和晚餐。

头疼，嘴巴溃疡。

-----------------------------
一流的十二月。

仙人掌也快死了，就是不舍得辜负别人把它带回来给我。
怎么办。。。

节日

2010-12-23T00:04:00.000-08:00

佳节快来了！
浪漫的圣诞节，欢乐的跨年，喜洋洋的农历新年~
虽然，发生了一些衰过吃屎的事情，可是日子还是一样过，地球还是一样转。

参加了公司的圣诞派对。看看上面的图，难道你不认为没有拆开的礼物是最美好的吗？
花花绿绿的礼物纸，华丽丽的包装，大家都觉得包装最豪华的一定是最好的礼物。

才不是呢！

打开一看，不就是一堆不切实际的东西。
鸡肋骨，嚼之无味，弃之可惜。
到头来还不是把礼物再转送出去，或者下一年再拿出来交换。
这就是盲目的交换礼物的漏点。
哪里跑那么多有用，实际，又男女皆宜的礼物啊！

可是看见礼物堆满的时候还是很兴奋的。就是这个兴奋感还是值得的。

大家佳节都干吗呀？
单身的一定很闷，闷慌了，快快安排节目，免得佳节独自自怜。
没单身的一定预留自己的另一半，有没有节目就不得而知了。
出去，免不了就是大塞车。除非你有非凡的耐力，有多少人可以塞车可是不生气的。
不出去，就怎么都有点遗憾，总觉得要干些什么才行。

不干什么，也总要过得有意义。节日不就是为了过得有意义吗！

购物广场里的圣诞饰品都好豪华，整体上就是让你觉的无忧无虑，钱包饱满，随时可以大血拼。
实际上呢，老娘我撞了车，没有发花红，要缴倒霉到家的罚款，浪费了无数电话钱（我就是吝啬），车子要大修，还要麻烦这个，麻烦那个的帮忙我处理一些保险的事情，加上我的保险经纪不在吉隆坡，倒霉到家。
辛辛苦苦存来的钱，就这样莫名其妙的不见了。
天知道我多想痛快地买东西，辛苦存的血汗钱有多血汗。
连旅行我都不敢想，只能上网看看游记过瘾。
看着别人身上都穿着最新，最潮流的服饰，心里痒痒的还是要咬咬牙，告诉自己这些很快就过去了。
看着美美的化妆品，护肤品，天啊。。。我要钱！
我要去痛快地剪一个`很`贵的发型，很奢侈的给专人染头发，做一做很贵妇的treatment!做一个很可爱的美甲，把脚甲也做得blingbling的 (噢是虚荣，怎样！老娘就是肤浅）~

看到别的美女穿得漂漂亮亮地，妆化得美美的，全身上下穿着都是最新最流行的衣服饰品。
老娘可以不羡慕吗你说啊！往死里羡慕的说。
可是还可以自我麻醉，本小姐走的是不一样的风格。
什么风格啊，颓废风啊，成熟步入老年不打扮风吗？

倒霉了就是钱包空虚了。钱包空虚也要买礼物，也要还人情，重点是三万要还。

钱是少了，屋子还是要买。我要买买买买！！！！

TMD 屋价越来越贵，货币越来越贬。你说要多多少血汗？
女孩子的青春，就那短短几年。尤其我的青春来得迟，就那么几年。等到屋子买成了，我就只有屋子了。青春早都包二奶去了！

新的一年快来了，希望真的迎新送旧，把不好的都留下。

新年的新希望，请给我多一点耐力，带走我无止尽的欲望/给我无止尽的金钱花（拜托，选后者）。谢谢。

I'm so sorry!

2010-12-21T23:37:00.001-08:00

Dear car car,

I still regretting over the incident happened, believe it or not.
I dunno why I can't stop you that day, donno why the car in front stopped suddenly.
Don't know why I went into this situation.

I have to pay for the price, for...not able to break on time.
Pay for summon, for car repair, for police report, for phone bills.

I promise you, I will drive more carefully.
My new year resolution is to be a better driver!

My dear car, please serve me for few more years, be my trusty car and I want to confess to you; I really like you!!!!

Love,
Your lousy owner,

on 10

2010-12-17T23:06:00.000-08:00

I've made a serious mistake yesterday.
Made a horrible phone call and resulted my sulky mood and mom's precious tear.
I swear I'll never make her cry again, NEVER.

Really hard to express the feeling when hearing the other end with a voice with full of disappointment, it's heart breaking.
It's not as serious as you think, but I will never make the same mistake ever again, ****ing regret.

Count to 10 when angry. Don't talk when angry. Try to swallow the anger when angry.
Don't argue when the other party accusing you. Ignore the flame when heart is breaking.

To anyone of you who cannot do all the above, feel grateful for having tolerate people around you.

My mood is exactly like the weather now. Sulky.

Dcember love!

2010-12-15T18:50:00.001-08:00

Hi All!

I'm an irresponsible person towards my blog I know sigh!
But it's December! It's a month full of love and joy!
Don't you just love December?

It's the last month of the year-- means you will have a new year, with new annual leaves, new salary (perhaps) and more public holidays which falls on SUNDAY! (you know what I mean =)

I enter to this company also on December 2009. So it's been 1 year now!
I like my job, like my colleague, and it's been a fruitful year for myself.
I always glad that I didn't have much bad experience in my work place, unlike many of my friends, undergoing unfair treatment from colleague, overstressed and OT all the time. I'm glad that I have a very reasonable superior, and colleague are kind to me.
What else can I ask for a workplace freshie? (more salary can?)

But one sad thing to conclude my year 2010.
My manager is leaving.
Mei Kuan has been very kind to us, since the day I start working here.
I learn a lot from her, and very impressed she can always have a conclusion in the shortest time, when I'm still scratching my head for an answer.
She is a decision maker, wise leader and kind person.

She's a very young lady, but she is able to lead the whole department, and continuously come out with new thing to wow us.
She have a young mind for sure, younger than me I suspect (my mental age 30). Sometimes I feel that she's very close to us, more like our age, a youngster. Fun and charismatic =)

It's the most regretful event to conclude this year.
But I thank her for giving me opportunity to learn more new things, know more about this industry. In the future I will be like my mentor, caliber and kind, caring and wise at the same time.

More parties lining up!
Where is yours?

Reminder to myself.

2010-11-13T21:45:00.000-08:00

Three days ago I've bumped in to my ex-boss, I'm certainly happy to see him. But we don't have much time, so we just 'hi' and 'bye' and hoping we will keep in touch.

The day after, few hours before I knock off, he called and ask me for a dinner.
Of course, I'm more than happy to accept his invitation. He's a mentor for me, my inspiration and my guru in stock market.

A simple dinner, but fruitful sharing with him. He share so much with me, wanted me to follow a successful path, not to do any mistake like everyone does.
Perhaps you might imagine he's a old man with white hair, almost bald, fat and have a huge belly.

NO.

He's 32, have 1 baby boy and expecting another. Have a lovely wife and perfect marriage.
He's NOT bald, a slight 'office' tummy, tech savvy, Apple product lover.

He shares a lot of big principles to me, throughout the years what he realize and understand the meaning of being a successful person.

1) When you are spending 80% of time doing something you don't like eg: your job, spend the rest of the 20% doing something different.

2) Don't do only what you are doing, do well in what you are doing, but also outdo something else. Some thing you are interested.

3) Don't believe completely what people told you. 90% of the things are false perception, the remaining 10% is for you to find out.

4) Don't stop when you see the surface. Dig down and understand the big picture. Understand what people won't normally want to find out.

5) THINK. Think how to spend your time, do your time management, do not waste time on people who won't inspire you.

6) Think more. Think on the solution, be a calculative risk taker. Understand what people need, and what you have to offer.

7) Try updating your resume as often as possible. You MUST find something to update, else you're not improving at all. Add in one column: ACHIEVEMENT.

8) Talk to the elders. Talk to someone who is twice your age, and you must be knowledgeable enough to do that.

9)Finish reading Stephen Covey. This book is deeply influencing my mentor.

10) You don't need to work hard, but force yourself to do something you like.

11) Repeat reading a useful book throughout the years. You will understand something different every time you read back.

12) Don't wait for opportunity. Create it.

13) Study what you have to. Understand the nature of your occupation. Study what other people in your same position won't do.

14) Think analytically. See something, and analyze the story behind.

15) Remember the above.

These makes where he is standing today. A successful business man.
I appreciate his teaching on that dinner, hopefully I can change my life.

This is what he told me : 'I see something different in you, and potential too. I hope in few years down the road, we can work together. I enjoy working with you.'

For the future me.

2010-09-05T01:55:00.000-07:00

Dear YewRaisin,

This post is dedicated to the future me, remind me of what kind of person I am now, and hopefully I'll be a better one in 5 10 years time.

I hate to let my hair down now. I love to cut it short but I can't, I can't fight the heat and my lousy hair style. Whenever I don't need to look tidy I'll tie my hair up. I wish I can have a super cool hair cut in the future.

I'm staying in Prima Setapak, a very small room in a big pent house. Zero interaction with housemate, probably changing housemate too often, we are all ignorance. My room is always in big mess. Looking at the room I have only 1 thing in my mind-- I must get myself a house to move my ass out of here. A room is not a home. A house is. My house is.

I'm driving a kancil, small but loyal vehicle. I can't express much my gratiude towards my parents for letting me to have kancil san here. I hope I still driving you after many years, my priority is a house, so I still depends on you.

My favorite restaurant is oh so heavenly good Sushi Zanmai. A must at least once a week. I m not willing to spend on food last time, especially not on expensive sushi. But I do now, and quite often shamelessly. I hope you can cut down on that future me.

It's been almost 2 years in my relationship. Still trying to make things better, know each other more, trying claim some credit sometimes. Our usual outing is movie and makan. I don't want to hear one single hurtful word no more. Relationship is sometimes painful, and loved.

My favorite music is still jpop, faorie drama is still japanese drama, dream land is still Japan. I'm a hopeless Japan whore. I hope you are able to fulfll my dream by then, future. Oh, and I hope people around me able to share with me my love, my passion and my deep interest.

My current occupation is digitl media specialist. There's a ladder I need to climb I know. My house is waiting for me. So how high have you reached my future me?

My parents are in perfectly healthy condition, except they are aging, and started to face some health problem. But no worries, mommy said papa wants to travel to China twice a year, backpacking to step his foot on all the states in China. He said he wants to backpack to Japan (without me). Kamisama, please let them be healthy as always, as now.

I don't like animal last time. But I started to treasure the wonder of animals. Although I still not able to be a good pet keeper, but I started to like pet, love chow chow and Husky. What pet do you have now future?

I always try to save more rather than earn more.I'm saving because I wish to earn more using the money. I hope can at least contribute 10% more tha my salary by doing 'earn more' mission. A successful person is not thinking to save, but to earn more.

EQ...Not too high now, at least not my ideal level. I wish to become someone who can dissolve a problem without making anyone angry, settle everyhing with brain. To do that, IQ come in place.

Hello future me. Are you a better person now?
Fight for a better future, be a better person.

Love,
Raisin 2010.

Birthday for you

2010-08-31T21:45:00.000-07:00

Dear Jia Teng,

It was your birthday, on 28th August!
Last year we were at UK, celebrating your birthday attacking your tiny room in Atlantic point.
Just one year, we have drastically changed.
Everyone is working now, work for life, for family and future.
You are a reporter, and I'm a normal office white collar.
When we were all students, we don't care about the money left in our bank, don't need to worry about bills and future, freedom they said.

Wanted to make this day so much special for you, but I realize too late that I don't have what it takes to do what I imagined.
I hope you have a great moment!

I definitely gonna make this up for you!
The only picture i have that day was the steak on you plate, much regret now.
Please give me few more dayssssss.....

Love,
Raisin.

Nothing can describe my feelings now

2010-08-04T19:04:00.000-07:00

One word can do the justice--sleepy =..=
is TMD sleepy.

I've been trying so hard to open my eyes while driving, and yet i think my brain shut down with my eyes open.

If only I can sleep lesser ...please help me !!

May you rest in peace.

2010-07-18T19:22:00.000-07:00

I received a horrible call this morning, after I reach the office.
My aunty passed away yesterday, heart attack.
This decease took two of my relatives' life away.
Someone told me life is fragile, I perhaps.

Right now, sitting in the office, I am in denial.
I can't believe she just gone. Like that.
She still so fresh in my memory, as if she's still alive, in fact in my mind she still her, needless to say alive.
She always been very good to me, coz she always wanted a daughter, but she have 3 sons.
She even gave me an ang pow before I went to UK, I'm so regret now I didn't seen her much after that.
How could I not visiting her!

She's faced some mental health problem before that, and I knew it, I knew she getting worst, getting better after that, seems fine after receiving the first grandchild. But I just never pay back my care to her like she used to care for me!

I guess nothing can change anything now, nothing can bring her back.

Rest in Peace aunty, you'll always in our memory.

Love, weiwei.

My picture speaks for itself.

2010-07-12T23:49:00.000-07:00

Isn't this lovely =)

Congrats to the Spanish!
I wish I can just stand somewhere at the corner sharing the joy of bringing back the world cup.

Malaysia? nahhh...

Fated

2010-06-18T03:36:00.000-07:00

有事钟无艳，无事夏迎春。

Why must I surrounded by people like this always.
Being nice is something that I always want to do, I believe in giving in more, will get fruitful return.

However the reality proves me wrong, many. freaking. times.
My kindness been taken granted, and people only come to me when they have problem.
I goddam admit that sometimes I need attention, and insecure about my position, that's why I always want to be nice and kind to others.
No, I don't find this wrong, I'm doing the right thing and don't think that I'm taken people for granted.

I took everything upfront, give you all the support you need, all the time spent, end up I feel nothing, still empty and insecure.

What am I looking for?
I guess I'm just having low self esteem, just because I'm not as adorable as the others, not as feminine as the others, a bit more independent than others.
And there you go! Viola! I'm a guy/ girl.

Being myself doesn't give me any advantage. Not being myself gives my tough time.

I'm such a loser Libra. Can't decide what I want always. What I want for life? What I want to achieve at this point of time?

Such an attention freak I am.

Why do I have such feeling? Low self esteem sucks max.

El Nino

2010-06-16T19:15:00.000-07:00

This is the reason I update this post.

我爱雀斑男了！！！

Changes

2010-06-15T02:58:00.000-07:00

My life have been moving nowhere lately.

I always want to move forward, try something new, do something different.

But my life is getting nowhere lately. Repeating the routine I am, bitching the same thing, and continue.

I need a change perhaps. Very depressed today.

I'm a bitch who can't live without attention and companion.
Sick.

I need a improvement, a freaking change.
Need to learn how to be more charismatic, more attractive, adorable, more like a girl i reckon.

I need to be loved!

Wish List

2010-06-14T19:16:00.000-07:00

As title:

1) New handphone, can touch touch the screen one, can take awesome picture in silence.
2) Camera. I don't even have one now!!
3) New Hand bag. I know I have many already, but I still using the same one Shee Hoong gave me on my 21st birthday. I <3 the current one, but it is too big for office.
4) I need a new pillow case urghh.
5) Tint my car.
6) New jeans, color contact lens, hair cut.
7) A house. In K.L. Here.

OK, no more dreaming...get back to work.

Thankiu. Xie xie.

Liverpool Maniac

2010-06-09T20:32:00.000-07:00

It's been a year now, away from our dream, our hardship in doing assignments, times we dig into the books in library, book hunting for the best book, borrow DVDs from library for movie marathon, night walk to Albert Dock, British breakfast cooking, dinner cooking after afternoon nap, Liverpool One window shopping, Eating out once in a while, Lobster Pot Lunch, carrying heavy groceries from Tesco, running to the 'Reduced price' section to look for cheaper food, happily waloop 1 pound strawberries and grapes,9 pence yogurt, 1.24 pounds Shandy, and BEERS!....

Looking back the old days, it still stay fresh in our memories, these memories are irreplaceable.

First time I cried so bad over my results is in Liverpool. The feeling of hatred over myself is indescribable. Without fail, I gotten a pretty bad result, that's the only thing I regretted in Liverpool. Other than this, many many first time experience in Liverpool. The first time I walk into a real cathedral, firs time speaking to ang moh, first time looking at LFC, first time

It's summer 2010 now, looking at the juniors pictures, their excitement and enthusiast are exactly the same as ours.
Their posing, the pictures, the scenery...everything are so familiar, except we are not in the picture itself.

The memories starts flooding in my mind after seeing the pictures in FB. I never been missing my hostel so much, I can even smells my room in my dream!

I miss Liverpool that much, I don't even know I can miss the place so so much.
Please send my regards to the place we spent so much time with.

H.E.L.L.O L.I.V.E.R.P.O.O.L!!!!!

Air Asia's fault!

2010-05-18T19:39:00.000-07:00

A & B is going to Bali
C & D is going to Phuket
E & F is going to Perth
G & H is booking for Krabi

Me feeling crappy.

LOL (pun intended)

Well, Tony Fernandas new trick,causing the huge jam in AirAsia home page. I guess maybe because of person like me, who have no planning on travel, just to check out the price.

I so wanna to travel! To HK, Taiwan, Aussie, UK!!!! The ticket is cheap cheap cheap.
Perhaps I should consider to change my phone first?
My phone is giving me big time recently, it started to load slower than my grandma walking.

Anyway...

This is a very wu liao post, just to vent thing out of my mind.
I can't stop refreshing the red color page with bees buzzing.
I just wanna go! Even if just East Malaysia!!

My bf turn his blog into football blog

2010-05-02T20:56:00.001-07:00

As title, he turned his blog into football blog, precisely, Liverpool FC blog.
I guess the 10 years of passion is unbeatable.
http://www.darkshadowjt.blogspot.com/

I asked him, why you never write about me?

I guess coz he dun wanna walk alone with me, he want to walk with LFC.

I love my job

2010-04-14T19:35:00.000-07:00

Due to my work scope, website seeking is part of my work, and it definitely open up my eyes to many good websites.

Although I need to entertain many low quality sites (like mine), and I need to dig back my Malay from my memory bank to reply mail, but I realize how big actually this community are in Malaysia. Many of them, treat their website/ blog as their main income. For some might work, but that's the minority of them.

Yesterday I encountered a few very good blog I can't keep to myself and must share to you all.

Edmond Yeo's blog
http://swiftywriting.blogspot.com/

This blogger very much relate to us, because he's a young film maker, and he made few short films which won him several awards. He's not based in Japan, and his short film very much adapt to Japanese movie style.
He's fortunate enough to study master in Japan, shoot several short films, went for a few film fest, but I know there's hard blood and tears behind his success. So proud of him as a Malaysian.

He shares some of his opinion as a film student. Funny enough, he is a typical chinese, who don't really encourage people to be in this production line. Probably he taste the bitterness himself, and he knows how important it is to be realistic, recognize the hardship.

He is dealing with the hardship, chasing his dream.
Totally salute this dude, and I hope he'll become another Yasmin Ahmad here.

E-HAN
http://hytehan.blogspot.com/

This is a Chinese base music/ fashion blog which I really like (Sorree to all the non-chinese readers >..<). The music genre he shares are top in quality, and he listens to Wide range of MUSICS.
The reviews of the songs I agree most of them, and he is very up to date in music and fashion.
Wonder how this guy look like...hmm..
Strongly recommended! <3

I really hope that chinese website community will open up more to advertisement. They are too protective and which explains they have good content and quality on web layout (no zap ba lang pornographic advert! )

Comparison

2010-04-08T08:24:00.000-07:00

'Comparison is easily done when you have a taste of perfection', Katy Perry told me.

I said, 'Comparison is easily done, when you have no perfection.'

Katy said 'If we ever meet again...'

I guess people nowadays have chance to open up, to see more things, to enjoy luxury, to experience more, to desire more.
Therefore causing people always craves for more.
More money, more entertainment, more happiness, more friends, more exposure, everything wants more, except hardship.

People are greedy, I admit.
We never stop looking for more, wanting more, expecting more.

Once I thought I had the best, once I thought I regreted.
I heard stories from everyone, I make my own stories.
Comparison is so easily done, when you have to listen to all sorts of stories.

I guess people are more easily to satisfy when they don't get more, when they get merely enough.

The thing is, not the worst, but it's bad compare to others; It's not the best, but not good enough. Paradoxy.

Less is more? More is less?

What is norms? What is things 'suppose to be? suppose to do?'
How do I look when I 'suppose to be like every other girls?'
How would I be when I 'am everybody?'
What would you do, when I am the 'everybody girl'?
Will you be the same?

I hope things will get better. There's no staying at the starting point, it's either moving forward, or you find yourself at the junk, being like one.

Perhaps I just want an ordinary one. Plus an extra.

ばけもの!!!!!!

2010-03-23T21:45:00.000-07:00

アホ!
あたしはばかです!
どうしてこれは私のせいですか?
じょうだんだけさ、どうしでそんなに怒でますか?????
あたし女ですよ、ちょうっとじょうだんだけだめですか!
貴方みたいのおとこは絶対せかい一番けちいです!

なんで!! なんでなんで!!!
絶対ににどうとあなたは話ませんです!

Sotsugyo!

2010-03-03T02:34:00.001-08:00

In Japanese, graduation!

Thanks Tian Xin who surprised me with a bouquet of lovely flower, your attendance light up my day!

Thanks George and Szetoo (Happy to see you both after so long) who snapped my picture when I was on stage!
You don't know how important is this to me...I'm just regretting I didn't buy the picture when I was in KLCC, didn't expect George snapped the picture. Arigatou manyak manyak!

Thanks all my friends who gave me so much memories study together, went UK together, gone through stress together, experience failure together. Time with you guys are unbeatable!

Thanks JT's parents who always sayang me so much <3
Thanks for another bouquet of lovely flowers..arigatou!

Thanks JT for fetching me to KLCC...LOL!
And thanks him for the time spent with me during college and Uni time.

Finally, thanks to my dearest family who always be there for me, for being so supportive regardless in financial and education, love and care.
Their unconditionally love and support is something I can't pay back at once. They are the reason of who I am today, I know they proud of me, so do I! I'm proud of my parents, who love me so much!

I love you all:)

Smart ass!

2010-02-18T00:13:00.000-08:00

Smart people will con people's money.
Smart ass like me will get money stolen by smart people.
I lost my trusty RM100 notes today. CHOR 5...

New Year

2010-02-16T09:19:00.000-08:00

Chinese New Year is so much different from last time.

From the weather till the atmosphere.

The expectation during chinese new year nowadays is totally different from last time.

I still remember I used to get sooo excited for new year eve, staying up late to 守岁(staying　late to bless your parents for good health), waiting for the chai shen ye prayer, listening to fire crackers, follow my grannys to prepare ancestors worshiping....Wake up in the morning rush to the kitchen and see what's my mom cooking, busy body ask for my grandpa to buy me more fire crackers...

It's always fun and happy during chinese new year.

Guess eevrything has change nowadays. No more fire crackers, no more staying up late to bless my parents (because we so use to stau up late, the meaning is different), the weather turn haywire, the kids grown up, everyone prefer staring at the laptop screen rather than the TV, lesser relatives coming back to visit my granny after my grade-grandma passed away. Awww...I miss her so much...

Nothing can stop the changes, but I still glad that I had the experience of celebrating a true Chinese New Year, not another festive season to eat all the good stuff and take ang pow money. The meaing of chinese new year is much more than that, it's a festival for family to gather, for friends to gather, for you to plan for the year ahead and crosscheck what have you done in the previous year.

This chinese new year I kinda lost, because this is the first CNY after I started working.

I felt less CNY mood, because I still thinking about my work sometimes and I have lesser time to prepare for CNY.

My boyfriend is homealone during CNY and I felt so bad for him.

My friends had a tough time going through the emotional swing.

My mom not feeling well because of the weather, and I'm not feeling well because of the heat.

ANYWAY...

One thing I feel very happy during this tiger year is I have 2 more tiger cousin sisters in the family!! The babies can always make me smile, babies rox CNY!

Now my babies in the family growing, and I started to lost count...=..=

But still I love them all!!! <3

And hor and horrr!!!!

My handsome uncle engaged during Valentine's day aka chor yat this year!!!

I felt so glad for my aunt because her youngest son finally get married"!!!!

Last year has been a tough year for all of them especially after her husband got stroke.

I sayang my aunt so much and I felt the bitterness in her heart too!

The joy on her face that day is so relief, and I know everyone of them is blessed that day!

30 ways to make a girl smile :)

2010-02-09T18:25:00.001-08:00

Not totally true, but most of them able to apply to most of the girls ...

1. Tell her she is beautiful, not hot or fine. (Agree!)
2. Hold her hand at any moment you can. (Hell yea!)
3. Kiss her on the forehead.(Aww..this is sweet)
4. Leave her voice messages to wake up to. (I prefer wake up call, or a mid night message :)
5. When she is upset, hold her tight and don’t let her go. (Like most of the mushy love stories, this works.)
6. Recognize the small things; they usually mean the most. (Agree!)
7. Call her sweetie, not baby. (Anything, as long as you are comfortable.)
8. Sing to her no matter how horrible your voice is. (yes, sometimes I prefer I allow to sing in front of him)
9. Pick her over all the other girls you hang with. (hmm...not when you're driving)
10. Write her notes [ she loves them ] . (who can reject this?)
11. Introduce her to family & friends as your girlfriend. (Refer to no. 6. this is the example)
12. Play with her hair & if it smells good tell her. (Play with hair is good enough)
13. Pick her up, tickle her, and play wrestle with her. (Sounds like puppy...not pussy! puppy!)
14. Pick her up and act like your going to drop her and she will scream and yell let her down even though she loves it. (Not applicable to me, giant size)
15. Tell her funny jokes, tell her stupid jokes, okay just tell her jokes. (I love jokes XD)
16. Throw pebbles at her window in the middle of the night just because you miss her. (Too drama..)
17. Let her fall asleep in your arms. (No way...too heavy to move me after that)
18. Carve your names into a tree. (I like to go green.)
19. If she’s mad, kiss her. (Normally girls will just throw tantrum and yell back.)
20. Give her piggyback rides. (hahahhahaha....!!! Speechless)
21. Bring her flowers just because of nothing. (Hmm...no one do this anymore nowadays)
22. Treat her the same around your friends as you do when you’re alone. (I realize guys are difficult to treat gf the same in front of friends..fail!)
23. Let her take as many pictures as she wants. (Should change to 'let her SHOP as long as she wants.)
24. Slow dance with her even if there isn’t music playing. (very western, OUT)
25. Kiss her in the rain. (What the heck...)
26. Take long walks on the beach at night with her. (This is sweet..:)
27. Wait outside her house in the pouring rain to surprise her when she gets home (This is..very..drama)
28. When she’s ill stay by her bedside (Oh this is a must la ok)
29. Play fight with her and let her win (You mean the real fight? or the tickle fight? Guy should win the girl and you know...ahem..)
30. And most importantly if you love her, tell her. (Girls are easy to please.)

XOXO

What touches you?

2010-02-08T22:36:00.000-08:00

Picture credit to Jennifer Tai photography, her photograph truly touches me.

Many small little things can make my day.
Not extra things like won a lottery or get promoted.

Something simple, like a baby's smile, a beautiful pictures, a funny jokes, a warm person, the funny way of people walking, catching up with old friends, old school friends gathering invitation, kind gentlemen help you to carry things without you asking, a stranger's smile, a dinner appointment, a nice song in the middle of traffic jam, old time memories, a tease, an old song full of memories, a few line MSN conversation with long lost friend.

All these touches me.

As simple as a soulful lyrics.
Simple as knowing friend's valentine's day plans, imagining the smile on their faces.

It's just simple and happy to live in the life you have. Remember every bits of them. Happy or sad, they will bring you something at the end of the day.
Thankful for the rights and wrongs. They are the one making what you are today.

If there were next life, I wish I can bring memories with me.

1+1=?

2010-02-03T17:43:00.000-08:00

There's so much feelings recently, not myself, it's by seeing my friends feelings, which somehow affected me.
Emotions is weird I think, one thing I cannot handle properly is emotions. That's why rather than handling the emotions, it's better to be emotionless.

If you don't have much emotions you wouldn't expect. No expectation will not lead to disappointment. This is what I learnt from my pass.

But when feeling strikes you, no one can avoid it, no matter how rationale and wise you are in managing your EQ.

Angry just piss off and curse!
Sad you just need to cry yourself out and sleep.
Happy just enjoy the moment, keep it in your memory bank.
But what when all these feelings fixed up?
I experienced this once long time ago, where I have no way to handle it except being a coward and run away from problem.

Make people hate me, then learn a lesson and be fake to everyone, and slowly I adapt to the fake me and forget the past. I guess I am happier by letting things go. At least people don't hate me that much, and I'm glad I learn when I'm still able to make mistakes.

Don't get me wrong, I'm quite satisfy with my current life.
A stable job, couple of close friends, dinner mate, a partner, families...I guess no news is good news! :p

Job is getting more and more...this is the life cycle I reckon.
Gonna head back to work..headache!!!

Why Blog?

2010-01-26T21:30:00.000-08:00

Why I only feel like blogging when I'm not in a good mood?
I'm not extraordinary bad mood till want to vent things out, but i just have lower self esteem today. This morning's Pagi show is funny, the later topic of the day was do you hate eating alone, the first topic is 'what is the ridiculous demand you ever get from your partner'.

I guess I hate eating alone LOL. very much.

Since I'm not in the mood of working, looking at the computer but think of something else, might as well I do something to make myself better.

What can you do to make you feel better when you're in office?

1) Stuff yourself in music, maximize the volume of your mp3/ handphone whatsoever, follow the beat and shake it! (You'll look like a freak but hey, I don't care!)

2) make yourself a cup of rich Nestlo, put as much milo powder you want, sweet things make you happy I guess.

3) Go out of the office, find some place which is absolutely quiet. (I guess will get more emo by doing this )

4) call your boy friend/ girl friend. (If only they are not working, able to entertain you)

5) Visit shopping site, entertainment site, any light content site.

6) go Youtube and find some funny commercial to LMAO!

7) think of the weekend, plan your weekend ahead. If so happen it's Monday then skip this.

8) Ask someone for dinner, someone who can make you happy for dinner. Then look upon the nite.

9) running out of idea.

10) blog lo.

Haiz, still low esteem-ing.

Well, I think i gonna start by doing item no.1, ciao!

For Smeagol

2010-01-18T21:10:00.000-08:00

I've not been blogging for a century time. I forgotten how to blog.
Not feel like working today, plus I'm still not feeling well, might as well I come back and take a good rest.
Made some quite serious mistakes at work because of not feeling well, yes, better to take MC and rest.

I like my work, although i have so many things to learn but still I love my work. I love making friends with them funny people, I love talking, I love learning, working and have fun at the same time. What is wrong with talking, you know...converse, not MSN, but verbally talk? What is wrong with making friends? What is wrong being nice to the person who treat you well? I enjoy talking to elder people, anything wrong? blek.

I've come across someone looks exactly like this
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Smeagol

If you watched LOTR, you'll know how he behave, sneaky, dirty, insidious，do things under the dark.
If you never watch before, nevermind, his face is obvious enough. No?

come. Show you another one..
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ready?
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NAH!!

If you find Smeagol adorable, you probably is one too.

If you gonna put the equation of smeagol on me, sorry...I'm human being, not creature!

Last day of 2009

2009-12-31T02:17:00.000-08:00

I have lots and lots of topic to write actually, but I realize I don't want to stare at computer screen after I started working, coz this is what I've been doing in my work.

Talking about the last day, I don't feel it at all. It's not an end, not a beginning...just bland.

This year is definitely an unusual year for me.

I'm not single anymore this year, gain a soul mate, but subconsciously I lost something I probably don't even know what is that.

I went to Liverpool, it's like a dream for me. Missing the place? Of course HELL ya! But what can I do? I'm lucky enough to get to go there, it's like a dream come true. I'm glad enough, and I think it's enough...it's colorful and fruitful enough.

I graduated...with a not so happy result. It'll remain as a spot in my life forever. I know the fact that result is not everything. But hey, will you don't feel a thing after you spent 30k to thousands miles away to study, and yet getting a fucked up result? I felt the pain.

Found a job, the job I like the most. I guess I'm lucky enough to read some interview tips the day before I interview... Now starting the new life in this company, trying to mix around with the people around. Luckily, few of them is actually taking good care of me, and I'm glad with that. Hopefully next year will be a better year.

Kinda heavy hearted today, don't know why. Perhaps I talked to someone about things I don't want to mention. Hopefully today will be a good night.

Going to steamboat with friends later, I miss the old days certainly.
I miss you all...miss the day we don't need to wake up at 6, miss the vanity of happiness.

Tonight's gonna be a good night!

Bye 2009!

Realistic vs Idealistic

2009-11-30T00:39:00.000-08:00

Most of us are officially become a grown man, stepping out from mummy's and daddy's protection, going out to this sickening society waiting to be burn out and pollute.

Okay, sounds very negative...

but my point is, most of us is going for a job, or...looking for a job.
For those who are not looking for a job either has ended their student life, so no more student identity...now you're enjoying the year end holiday like we used to during after form 5.
But feel sad at the same time for being too free, and looking at people wrote on FB saying they miss Liverpool so badly, you know there's no turning back.

I have been to several interviews...answering their questions make me think of the changes occurred to myself during my college time.

Once an interviewer asked me: 'why you choose to study broadcast, but you don't choose to pursue in this industry?'
Few others interviewer asked me the same question:' Why broadcast ? Why mass comm?'

Why?

I gave them my reasons, but to sum up my reasons, because I used to be Idealistic, but now I'm realistic.

So let see wat's the differences of Idealistic and Realistic...

IDEALISTIC vs. REALISTIC

Idealistic: the 'future' in mind is within 5 years time.
Realistic: the 'future' in mind is up to 70 years old.

Idealistic: most important is happiness.
Realistic: most important is happiness, and the happiness of the others.

Idealistic: can make a decision in less than a minute. The factor is 'like/dislike'.
Realistic: take ages to make a decision, depends on the importance of the issue. eg: What to eat for lunch? (factor: calories, budget, after lunch feel sleepy, distance to grab the lunch, weather, hungry or very hungry, ahh....half an hour of lunch time gone.)

Idealistic: can always ask for pocket money in super thick face.
Realistic: seldom ask for pocket money unless mummy really forgotten to give.

Idealistic: see anything in RM XX.99 will think it's cheap.
Realistic: see any price tag in RM XX.99 will automatic round up the numbers plus tax and service charges and god knows whatever hidden charges.

Idealistic: always see myself still young, study life is still a long way to go.
Realistic: started to think about how much family have spent on my studies, how much longer I able to pay back the debt.

Idealistic: do part time job for fun.
Realistic: do part time job for $$.

Idealistic: study fashion trend and craving for branded stuff, the aim for future is to carry a LV bag.
Realistic: study fashion trend and craving for branded stuff as well, but notice the identity and standard of one is the factors which determined whether the LV is a fake one or a ori one.

Idealistic: chase after some boy band and buy whatever with their image on.
Realistic: download their songs from Internet will do.

Idealistic: full of imagination and creativity.
Realistic: rusty imagination, zero creativity.

Idealistic: Come'on! who wants to think about tax, credit card, insurance and EPF?
Realistic: Gosh...tax payer is painful, plus insurance and EPF???

Idealistic: can spend whichever I like, as long as there's still 5 ringgit notes in my purse. (or coins)
Realistic: Less than RM 50 is very insecure.

Idealistic: dreaming to become a backpacker and travel around the world.
Realistic: dreaming to become a backpacker but can just remains as dream. Family to feed and debts to pay are more important.

Idealistic: Savings is to buy the latest mp3/camera/handphone/designer bag/celebrate Christmas/CD...
Realistic: Savings is to invest.

Idealistic: Where you see yourself in 5 years time? Answer: Dunno wor...
Realistic: Where you see yourself in 5 years time? Answer: (Model answer) I see myself achieving at least 3 steps of my career ladder.

Now...you know what I mean?

Quite sad actually to see myself transform into this kind of person, and I might become like this or worst for the rest of my life.
All these are not FACTS, but just a comparison according to my transformation in these years in college.

A new start tomorrow, hopefully it'll be a good start and hopefully SUN SUN LI LI...

please let me fall in love with buses and LRT as well...(!%$&##!@#!!!)

整理篇

2009-11-25T05:41:00.000-08:00

印象中从来没有用中文写过部落格。
今天偶然阅览了几个同学的部落格，发现原来大家都很感性，还真有点像我以前的样子。
以前我的文法超级感性。我想大概是因为心情不好，写的东西都不是开心的，自然就很感性了。
以前很少开心的事。
话说回来，中学开心的是我还可以记得，可是不开心的更多。
经历了一些事之后，学会了强颜欢笑，那时人缘才比较好一点。
华乐在我中学的时候对我很重要，多亏有华乐，我的中学生涯也没有白过。
后来上了学院，更多不开心的事。开心的大概也没那几样。
大家都说我以前很不好相处，很难接近。
我也了解，那时候我的防卫心太重了。
总觉得每个人都和我不一样，每个人的想法都和我有出入。
况且中学很多不愉快的事，让我不知不觉中学会自我保护，自我封闭。
每天板起一副嘴脸（这是之后朋友告诉我的），好像大家都欠了我钱似的。
在没有很多朋友的情况下，再来就是之后和朋友闹翻，心情真得一塌糊涂。
没有友情，没有爱情，也没有亲情的时候，文字就成了我宣泄的唯一管道。

我还以为我到现在还是很感性，看了别人的文章才了解我根本都不感性乐，还有点通俗。
伤心的时候能写诗写词，形容词好得不得了。
最近渐渐变得没有个性了。

汗

从前很憧憬恋爱的时候，总是在参考别人怎么恋爱，怎么沟通，怎么相处，不知不觉就建立起一个‘恋爱蓝本’。因为老是在听朋友的抱怨，下意识也让自己对感情很谨慎。
当身边多了个人陪伴的时候才发觉，‘恋爱蓝本’是不切实际的。
‘恋爱蓝本’是我参考了别人的例子，引以为鉴而已。
所以在一开始的时候，当我觉得很多事情都理所当然的时候，另一方就觉得不可思议，最后演变成无理取闹，再来一个一哭二闹的完美收场。

我做事向来都很理性的，和我共事过的人都知道，我最忌拖泥带水。
可我现在到底在唱哪出戏，都不晓得了。
另一半的牵绊，令我无论做什么都优先考虑。
有了一个首要顾虑，我做事拖泥带水，优柔寡断，时常两头不到岸，最后还没有理想的结果，往往吵闹收场。
生活的重心转移了，做什么都为另一半先想，真怀疑自己是不是雌性荷尔蒙过剩，母性漫溢！
有时候真觉得自己好像我妈妈。每每我做什么事都会令我联想到我妈妈，因为我妈妈也是这样，以家庭为中心。
每次都觉得要为自己多做一点事，要对自己好一点，可是往往就是无法自拔。想必我在为你劳碌的时候自己也是幸福的。
无可否认的，我的确是保护欲强，我是家里的老大，很正常的现象。
在这个过程中，自我会渐渐消失在过剩的关爱中，最后变软弱。

以前一个人的时候，从来不会按不住寂寞打电话只为了说一些有的没的，也不会因为几句重话而一发不能收拾。满肚子都是道理，可是就是说不出口。
话说到嘴边眼泪就却提了。
误会就是这样产生的。
我想说却说不出口，想听的人却越来越不耐烦，以为我是故意沉默闹脾气。
每次想解释，想说明白，到头来只是放声大哭。连我自己都讨厌这样的自己，别人哪里会不讨厌呢？

以上的一切都不是怨言，只是一些心情上的整理。
说到底我还是庆幸的，至少我现在还有目标，还有一个人愿意陪伴我。
他也让我发现自己还有身为女孩子的娇纵；偶尔一些关心我的举动都让我开心上老半天。
有什么还比身心疲累的时候有一个厚实的拥抱来的重要呢。
未来对现在的我来说太遥远了。
以后有什么等着我还是未知数，不过我会努力，努力，再努力。

努力寻找一个健康的平衡点，努力好好开心的相处，努力尽量腻在一起，努力每天都开心，努力让你开开心心，努力赚钱，努力修生养性，努力提升自己。

Disoder...

2009-11-18T05:40:00.000-08:00

I guess I've abandon my blog like...forever?
So before it rots better for me to update at least one post.
I don't know why am I so lazy to update, but I guess is because of my lifeless life.
After awake from my UK dream, everyone seems to have their own life, their own things to do.
No more alwayssticktogether thing as a gang.
Some are busy courting girls, some are busy hanging out with their another half, some are looking for jobs...

I guess I was busy 'waiting' for a job.
I don't really know what to do and what to expect for a job at first...
I'm seriously not intended to go into production, although I love it, but for long term wise, Production work can't feed myself and my family.
I see how my friends being exploited by some big glamorous regional media company, and I realise how bad this industry treats us the freshies.
I understand that they feel lucky and happy being able to work in those well known company, and able to learn things at the same time.
I never worked as a production member before, so I guess I have no right to comment on that.
But what I can tell is production work is so far away from what I imagine my future would be.

For more than a month I've been job hunting, I roughly have an idea what I want as my career.
To put it in short...'5 DAYS A WEEK AND PAYS WELL'
Which is bull shit because everyone wants that kind of job...
OK, so put it this way...'5 DAYS A WEEK AND PAYS WELL PLUS IS MEDIA RELATED'
nah....it sounds better now.

I admit that I kinda phobia with workaholic life style...
Seeing my friend dedicate her life to a company, handle pressures and being back stabbed by others is not a good thing.
But I guess working for something I really passionate ain't a bad thing....perhaps.

The first job I interview is Nuffnang.
Oh Nuffnang Oh Nuffnang!!!
I've been reading the founder's blog like...for a year?
I really admire his capability and the creativity of the company.
But one thing I really regret is this is my FIRST interview, which I screwed up quite badly.
I was nervous, pretended to be calm....I say something silly...and I sounds like a blog reader fan meeting the blogger rather than an interviewee...which is BAD BAD BAD.

The second interview is totally a disaster.
Like every other freshies out there, I am prepared for the interview.
Dress up like a corporate lady, walk straight, survey about the company, print out map in case I get lost, went to the company 2 hours earlier to avoid jam....
That morning I feel awful and I even stopped at one of the LRT station to vomit, but all I can vomit is just some liquid...
With my shaking leg and strenghtless body, I get into a cab and go for the place.
I paid freaggin RM 14 for the cab if I'm not mistaken...and the distance is only less than 5 minutes!
Hell...
Well, if I get to find a good job, I don't mind paying that.
So after I went in, I filled up some forms, and there this lady who looks like some director or manager to interview me.
The first question strikes me :'now, show me your portfolio.'
I'm like...'HUH?'
ps: btw, it's an event management company.

'What portfolio?' (she wouldn't be interested in what drama or ads i shoot before rite)
'What event you did in the past?'

She is obviously never notice I'm a fresh grads.
From the way she ask me questions, I can feel that she has a very strong personality, and should be a mad career lady.
She didn't ask me many questions, but just all sorts of hardship and problems to deal with when I'm in the position.
'Do you think you can handle the stress? Work for long hours? In a very tough environment? Handling all sorts of details?' ( In a very pushy way, without a single smile on her face)
'I think maybe yes..." (how the hell I would know I never work before leh!)
'I don't want to waste your time and my time, I don't want maybe, give me a YES OR NO.'
"............"

the conclusion of the interview is....She is not looking for an employee, she's looking for a trainee...a really cheap trainee (She offers me 1.3k with immediate start, start working on that day itself! She said that 1.3k is really a lot, she get application for degree student for 1k salary.) to do all the work for her.
Well..typical cina beng company.
But hey!!! with your 'generous' pay...how would I able to survive in PJ!!!! I think my pay is probably lesser than a promoter lo =.=

After this interview...I get totally defeated.
Is this how much I worth?
Worked so hard to get a degree, this is how much I worth?
BULLSHIT!!!!!!!

I'm not picky in choosing job, but at least the job at least have to enable me to feed myself and some savings..most importantly is to pay my loans.
JT keep saying I'm picky in job...but what I don't want is being exploited when you know you worth more than this.
Another reason is I don't want production work, which I explained earlier.

The following week, whole week I get no call for interview, in stead I followed JT to all of his interviews.
I normally can gao dimed my interview in less than 20 minutes, the most 30 minutes...but JT's interview all longer than an hour!
And I think he is probably very sincere in the interview, the interviewer tend to explains everything to him, which I think is a good thing, rather than some who just want to hire a 1.3k cheap labour.
And good for him, he got a not bad offer, and I thinks this is a very potential field, the MOST important thing is...the company shows sincerity in hiring him, not to bully freshies.

That week I really felt the pressures...
I send resume like mad and log in to most of the career websites.
Even one of my interviewee said she received 3 of my resume ! LOL.
The next week has been interview madness...up to today, I went for 5 interviews, and 3 more lining up until next Monday.

The weather is really cold these days...I feel like falling sick anytime.
Maybe that's the reason I felt so tired to attend to interview.

JT working as freelance before his work, so no more driver for me.
Waiting like a SH in KLCC Isetan office today really doze me off....
but this is interview...what to do?
If I could I would just walk off and say F you! I'll get a better offer than you!
But a beggar ain't a chooser rite?

Tomorrow I got a 2nd interview from a company that I really like.
It's a online ads company, less bitchiness than other ads firm i think.
Hopefully I can get a confirmation this week *finger crossed* and I can stop interviewing.

Please....don't fall sick =.=

A new page

2009-10-21T10:44:00.000-07:00

I have a mix feeling now. Read Mun Yi's and Szetoo's blog...totally different mood.
Szetoo is so happy and satisfy with her life with her guardian angel, the sparks from her face can't hide the joy she's enjoying. She have everything a girl wanted for life; a soul mate, career, love, family...
I'm so glad she can be what she is today, she totally deserve a life like this. I feel so good for her :)
Somehow she is motivating me to get a life like this! What else can be better when you love your job, not tiring doing it everyday, and the most important thing is working hard with the person that you won't tired of seeing for the rest of your life!

This is what I can do by not blogging with my own computer...curi from FB. Courtesy of wx.

Mun Yi has been moody for weeks. She's a cute girl whom I always adore her. She used to be so cheerful, so happy and energetic. Reading her blog is totally different mood from who she used to be. Family problems and jobs problems bothering her I guess. Didn't know much about the details, but I really hope her problem can be solved and be happy again. She is such a sweet girl, doesn't deserve to go through all these pain. I probably won't understand how much pain she gone through, and I'm not going to say 'I know...', because only she knows. We were trying to support her, trying to cheer her up, but just don't know how.

Again, curi from FB. This is how lazy I am.

I think all of us have moody days, one of those days that you don't feel like talking or seeing anyone. The mood just worsen by digging a hole and bury yourself in sadness. The most recent time i felt like this was the time i get my LJMU result, sucks. Every time anyone mentioned about this I'll just feel like run away or just bang myself hard on the wall.
But hey...I can't do anything to make things up, regret is the only thing I can do to compensate myself, and perhaps earn more $$ in the future to pay my parents back.
But my problem is NOTHING compare to Mun Yi. She is ok to be sad, emotions and feelings needed to let go, or else like what I said, bury yourself in your own sadness doesn't do any good.
Cheer up Mun Yi! I know it's hard...and I don't even know 'how' hard it is, but we are here to support you. Do whatever you feel right, and don't give up on life! You were one of the most passionate person I ever met, don't let this spirit die!

I went to interview this afternoon. Didn't think of sending resume and interviewing so soon. But this is a job that I really want, perhaps I adore the energy and spirit of a young company has. I met the founder of the company, I think he's 24 years old. A very young but charismatic person. Though I might not get the job, but I glad I tried.

Working for bread is not easy, I guess for us nothing can beat loving what you doing. But sadly most of the people is doing what they needed to, and wait for payroll at the end of month. But well, this is a realistic society, it's ok if the figure on the cheque can pay all the bills and still able to afford a sushi fest once in a while...I mean, sushi in supermarket, you know...half price Isetan sushi =.=

I want to make a million!!!

I'm so looking forward to next Tuesday yay!

Birthday 2009!

2009-10-13T12:34:00.000-07:00

I'm 22 now, officially.
In bad mood now, moment ago was alright...now is like being stepped under some cow dung or something.

Anyway, I get the chance to upload pictures...so better I be responsible for myself.

8/10, 7/10 & 7/10

Pink color...

this is funny...

Year 2009!

Bling

Jersey, best of all!

Well...that's all at the moment.
Still feel like shit.

Birthday!

2009-10-07T14:14:00.000-07:00

It's mah birthday today!!! Wheee!!! I mean...yesterday!!
Was celebrating with 'almost' all the broadcast gang, and new friends this year!
I thought of my previous birthday today, it was a ROCKS too, but I don't have such a huge gang previous year.
This year I 'm happy! With different people, different friends, and most important, a person who love me and willing to gather all these people for me!

This year other than BC gang, there are few very very nice PR gals joining the crowd, they are very lovely. JT also brough his best buddies to the dinner, glad to know them, although I might bored them =.=
CNX gang is lesser this year, only Tian Xin and Vincent came, but I'm glad they came, because it means so much to me. Birthday will never be the same without best friends:)

I miss these people so much...everyone of them. Most of us didn't meet each other after europe trip, or after the summer programme thingy ends. Fang Jing and Yoke Man even kissed me!
I'm so glad to see them all, glad that they willing to celebrate birthday with me.

Pai Wah gang and KK, Derique, Sook Teng, JT and me went to my favourite activity--Sing Kay!!
It's so fun!!! it's been 4 months I never been to sing Kay! I miss the mic so much...i realise I am getting worst in singging =.=

After Pizza session, we went to snooker. I'm not a 'ball' person, I just watch the guys play. Sorry Vincent, drag you here :P
After that the guys continue with online game, me, Jing, Man, Ash and Janet went to mamak lepak. they are such a funny people!

This year I receive quite a lot of presents, from all of them.
First of all the cake is lovely, and so does all the presents :)
the most creative one should be the Raisin...Sun Maid Raisin babeh!
I was like.....burst into laugh when I see that.!
Those cards I get are very funny!Hilarious! I love mah friends!

I just read Mun Yi's blog, I really glad that she's came. Too bad Szetoo didn't make it..i miss her too ;(
Mun Yi was quite upset with her siblings. Who said a smart and happy girl can't be emo sometimes? But Mun yi you know, siblings is mean to be more direct in showing feelings. They are person who grow up with you, that's why we wouldn't afraid to show them our real faces. This is what friends can't do, that's why they are irreplaceable. Friends can fake a smile and say she's ok, eventhough she's having trouble or problems. It might not be a bad thing, but there is a litttle bit distance between siblings and friends. I believe your brother and sister are just having one of those days...moody, don't feel like talking, feel like escaping, hate to sit at home...you know...teenagers?
Don't worry, everyting gonna be fine, and I believe you will do great in your work, as well as the relationship with friends and families.

Last few days I was thinking to write a proper blog to Mun Yi...but I was upset because of my result, that's why I didn't wrote it. But what I want Mun Yi to know is she's a very special one to me and JT. I am not a person who use to ask help from people, academically especially. I always need to be independence in study, that's why I seldom ask people for help in my studies, and that's the reason why I always get an average result in class.
But Mun Yi is the first person I really ask for advice and we help each other in discussing and checking. I still feel hesitate to ask you for help even after some times, but when you ask for my opinion, I know I don't need to be hesitate :)
I heard from JT how good you are to me, million thanks to you.
Please don't say you're selfish again, you are not. From what I know you are not the definition of selfish! Really appreciate your selfishless help all these while (although I screw up my course works and my marks), I disappoint myself and you...feel so helpless in this. But anyway...I can't do anything with this, just accept it and hopefully i can improve myself.
I need to learn to be more careful in work and better observationskill...perhaps driving skill too!

Thanks everyone for celebrating with me! *bow*

Thanks Liew Jia Teng wo de dear who arrange this for me and the present! :) *hugs & kisses*

ps:Picture will be updating soon! I think I just hate to upload...

I gotta feeling.

2009-10-04T17:43:00.000-07:00

5.30 am this morning, I was awaked by a phone call. Liverpool lost, mood...hmm.
I gotta feeling, I'm not going to get through this.
Ah, great timing, 5th of October, 2 days before my birthday.
My mom talked to me last nite, las year around these days I was preparing for my own birthday, searching for restaurants, inviting people, ordering food and negotiating the price...
I remmeber how happy I was with my 21th...eventhough I wasn't the popular girl back then.
But since come back from Liverpool, I feel nothing but just uncertain.
Bored, yes...but uncertain.
I know I got to do something but dunno what the thing is.
Not in the 'birthday' mood.

I had a cake last nite with my families, with other 2 Octoberies in my family.
Feel nothing...nothing like previous years.

Great, worst now.

ps: I thought of want to write a 'proper' blog today, since I babysitting again in my aunt's house. Well...no mood.

*update*

well...as predicted, I failed. Failed in the sense of failing my hope on myself, failing my hard work, tears and sleepless night, failing the hope my parents put upon me, failed their effort to bring me to UK. Ulterly dissapointed.

I recognise myself as a whole new person, a loser.

Student no more.

2009-09-27T21:56:00.000-07:00

I've been back to Ipoh for 4 days, yesterday night only I unpack everything in my luggage, and cause a huge mess to me room.

The reason I don't want to unpack is I really don't know where to put those things!

I know I'll be back to KL, many things I need to bring back KL, then why should I unpack?

Secondly, I don't know where to keep for my notes, my exam paper, my pencil case, my stationary...because I don't need them no more!

Finally, I not a student anymore, after being one for 15 years...or more.

Another thing I realise after I back to Ipoh...I definitely miss my room in Atlantic Point, Naylor Street, L3 6LS, Liverpool, England =.=

I realise how big my room is, how comfy my blanket was, and how nice the weather in Liverpool.

I literally sweat everyday, from the moment I wake up...

I need to do housework I know..but the weather just drive me crazy, I just want to lie down on the marble floor, and melts.

I can't find a place for all my stuff....and I started to miss my room's cupboard.

I am lucky enough to get a bigger room, which means I have more cupboard and more space.

Back in Ipoh I realise my room is still filled with my secondary school stuff, my diploma stuff..not enough space to store my thick jacket, scarf and jumper that I can hardly wear in Malaysia.

I miss my friends.

Dearly.

I met few of them few days back.

They've changed.

Well, I understand the change, just that I not ready to accept.

We had great time together before, siple happiness.

The place that I had very happy moment before is not like the way it should be.

It turned cold, emotionless...so do the people.
These are unavoidable isn't it!

I miss Liverpool, now I realise assignment stress is not that big deal anymore..stress finding job, paying bils, earning bread for home is even stresser.

Right now I just want to enjoy my time as a jobless, and persue my career.
Good bye ols days.

14 hours flight, 7 hours transit, 1 day above 5000 feets.

2009-09-23T12:31:00.000-07:00

Again, killing time in Abu Dhabi air port, makaned super expensive dinner/breakfast, trying times and times to connect the stupid wireless connection.
Feeling closer to home already, seeing Malay and Indian here, different people from Europe.
Ah...I'm close to home.
Everything happened in UK is beautful, including the last backpack experience.
It's frust, tiring, but very exciting and we are happy :)
We walk most of the time, exploring the tube in London, trying to inhale as much fresh air as we can in Edinburgh, sitting at the Starbucks watching people...all these has been a great experience.
Everything happened in EU is very unrealistic now, the moment I board on the plane I can clearly remember the day I depart to UK from KLIA, time flies.

I saw friends leaving me msg in facebook...everyone is experiencing this, UK seems like a long beautiful dream we had, and now is time to wake up.

In 10 hours time I'll be in my homeland, another 3 hours bus ride to my hometown.
Here I come! My home.

In Edinburgh

2009-09-22T09:11:00.001-07:00

A quick post from Scotland, Edinburgh.
We are here, killing time in Starbucks near our hostel. in around 24 hours time we will be in our motherland, 35 C with nasi lemak and bak kut teh.

I miss Malaysia indeed, but I will miss here too.
Been in a tired trip to Europe, tiring but fun, get to see foreign countries, try their local food...
But after all, I enjoy UK more than europe.
Edinburgh is the best place so far in the trip.
The skies are blue, it's windy but with many warm smilling faces.

Europe is nice, but not too nice without much euroes in pockets.
The journey is rushing, but it's open opening.
It'll certianly be the unforgettable experience in my life.

Gonna back to reality soon, this 4 months has been like a dream for me.
I can still remember clearly how excited we were in the airport boarding the plane, and now, I'm going back to the country I belong, to the home where the person who love me most waiting for me to come home.

I miss home, miss my friends, miss my dearly families...
But I'll miss UK, the place where I spend the most incredible 3 months time.
Bye UK, Bye Scotland...Hello Nasi Lemak!

A new journey

2009-09-04T07:40:00.000-07:00

Here I am, spending the last few hours in Liverpool, probably the last time of my life in Liverpool.
Since young Europe country had been a dream for me, it's unreachable, it's magical.
Liverpool is truly a nice city, giving us magical experience and memories.
I sincerely thank my parents who willing to give me this chance from the bottom of my heart.
I feel bad because I travel to Europe countires before they do, but I know is because they love me :)
This probably gonna be a my best summer ever. The weather is awesome, the place is magnificent, the people is nice, my room is huge!
I got a bigger room than the one in Malaysia omg..
I'm going to start my journey to Europe tonight, and HOPEFULLY I'll have a great experience.
My status now is 'jobless', not 'student' anymore...so anyone who like to hire me pls let me know, I'm good !

Friends are aparting, from now on we're independent adult, we need to be responsible to ourself.
Transforming to this stage is so unreal to me, the moment I still stress because of homework and future, the next moment I'm not entitle to be a student anymore.
A whole lot more future waiting for us, and it's gonna be a tough one.
Seeing friend who getting their career in their early 20s, getting success in life is so unbelivable.
I still aimless in life, but certainly going to pay back my parents.

Good bye...I say to Liverpool, LJMU, my student life, my lovely lecturers, my memories here.
Hello...I say to my future, challenges, my family and Malaysia.

Birthday post for birthday boy

2009-08-28T14:09:00.000-07:00

Was wanted to celebrate with the boy at the Pump house, but we met with Alan today at the library, and we head to coffee together in Pret a Manger after submitting assignment.

The liverpool boy

It's always been a pleasure to talk with Alan, he gave us many advice, talking about his experience, and tell us how good iqbal is :) [ya'll know...he's so kind]

Coffee is good, good company is even better.

We end up have a quick lunch at Wilkin (not sure whether is this the correct name)
It's a chilly day, strong wind, my umbrella probably gonna die soon, but this is his first Birthday in UK, I really do hope he enjoy it.

I'm not good in writing birthday wishes, but still wishes you Happy Birthday.

The game host

I hope last night surprise party [not so suprise i know] is memorable for you,

Scandalous

Flatmates

I hope you enjoy kissing so many girls and guys last nite :)
I wish you like what I done for you, although not much but I hope I make up your day,

3G ing

I hope you feel the bless from friends, all the kawan sayangs you so much,
wishing you all your wishes come true, happiness and blessing shower your life.

Be good ya, please take care of yourself, stop falling sick, always happy and always sayang me! [sounds like a nagging mother again]

*Not fair lo I want my Birthday in UK also!!!!!*

Happy Birthday my dear :)

Blank

2009-08-20T15:57:00.000-07:00

I'm totally turned off now, nothing in my brain just blank, don't feel like do anything at all, but I know I must.
End up here updating blog, what's the different? ><

show me the way...pls

Friends

Friendss

Labour

I need you

Awesome

Peace

Dizzy

Iam 16, going on 17...

Monyet-monyet

top of the eye

Shine

Emptiness

Bizzarre

Karlerfool

Thanks for the hospotality in Sheffield! :)

Randomness Blues.

2009-08-03T15:38:00.000-07:00

What does you see from your eyes?

I see a softer world with my shades on.

They see a happy world, by closing eyes when needed, talk with a heart open.

'Walk on....walk on...' they said.

I saw a statue thinking deep.
He said, I don't want to be a statue.
It's not so good after all, birds shit on your head.

The color is vivid.
I see vivid colors when the sun is bright.

Time flies, It's been 2 tiring months.
Gained much, losed much.
But this is life!
We are gowring, keep on walking pal!

No way back, he said.
It's only that much you left.

Deadly sins

2009-07-29T12:28:00.000-07:00

I kinda have a few late night sleeps these days.
Partly because of homework, but other than that we just chat and chat.
We look back the people we used to see, used to hang out with.
We come across the tremendous changes of life and people's attitude towards life.

We notice someone who wil never get angry, get angry all the time now.
We see those who just want to be simple in their life become extremely complicated.
We see people always like to be the cream and scream at others.
We see people who think they are the cream, and give wrong instructions.
We notice people play dirty, we see more sorrows.

All these are bugging me, perhaps the environment here is forcing people to change.
Last night I received an email from a person who can't let go the past.
Ironicly, to keep ourself out of people's hurting is to ignore and to mind our own business.
The frind of mine certainly don't get this.
The humanity are vulnerable here, what you see is mostly not the truth.

If there are 7 deadly sins...a lot of them are commited these.
I'm not saying I'm perfect, but the feeling is so strong from surrounding.
Seeing people not only me, who suffer from the same problem, the changes.
Talks to those who I seldom talk to, notice they are those who changed less.
They change just because of wanted to protect themselves, and they learn that for a great price.

The ideal public sphere just like Habermas suggest is never exist.
There's always selfishness exist.

I wonder how would we become after this??
A stronger person definitely. Good or Bad.

友情は一体なんですか? 可笑しいなああ!

2009-07-22T16:19:00.000-07:00

I remember how's the feeling of having a best friend last time.

The kind that you can't do anything without her, or do everything with her.

A friend that understand me the most, we don't need to say much, we just know.

I enjoy the day where we talk to each other in the phone untill late mid night, eventhough my parents scolded me for the sky high phone bil.

I can remember how wonderful it is to have her and her family to celebrate birthday with me.

Like every other girls do, we stay over night at each others' house.

We study together, but most of the time talking, but we enjoy it.

Whenever I saw something about friendship, a card, for instance, I'll automatically think about her, the only person I can think of.

She's the person who can make you happy, know you best, we have to talk everyday, and she always think of you like you always think of her.

We called each other whenever we went travel, and always bring back stories and present for each other.

I so miss the feeling of having a best friend. The kind that only exist in secondary school.

When we grow up, this kind of pure friendship can never be seen.

Perhaps there are, perhaps that's not happening to me.

Time, place, experience, changes take away the purest part of our life.

We don't think so much before, as a kids.

All we need to think is how to have fun, and have more fun!

Although there's a lot of unhappy things last time, but the unhappiness is different from now.

As we get older, we learnt from the environment.

Struggle to live, struggle to survive in the society.

We started to faked a lot of things.

We start to think how to be happy. We don't think how to be happy last time, we just happy.

And funny is most of the time being ignorance is the best solution to feel better to yourself.

Life is unfair, whether you want to be someone good, or someone selfish.

If people doesn't like you, there's no reason!

If you are lucky enough to born with charisma, you'll just shine with lime light on you all the time!

I glad I had best friend before, although I lost her, but still, she'll always be the best.

I glad in each stage of my life there are people who come in to my life, and give me hope and strenght to move on.

I glad that there are friends who look deeper on who I really am, appreciate me as a person.

The world is cruel, people stabbing each other to stand on the crowd, but in front of them they faking smiles and faking friendship to maintain social status.

The one who you treated good is not neccessary the one who treat you as friend!

Those who always mix together as 'friend' is not neccessary as good as you see from surface.

How sad it is to live in this kind of world.

No wonder people are seeking purity now in life, because we losing it by surviving.

Lake District

2009-07-19T08:50:00.000-07:00

I guess there's too much of hustle and bustle going on this week, ups and downs, not only me, seems like most of the people around also having some problems of their own...

This is too heavy.

Let's wash away some of the sorrow by showing the picture from lake district.
Iwouldn't regret to come here, and I would regret if I didn't.
This place make me put away all my sorrow for once.
This place is like a fairy tale, you wake up and you see you are in a story book, with little cottage houses, farms, animals, streams..I miss this place.

Although we spent 3 hours to climb the hill, but it's super worth while...
I never seen something like that before, it's breathtaking beauty, and when we reach the top, it's stunning.

The lake is lying on top of the hill, so peaceful, so gorgeous.
We can ignore all the droppings on the field, but juz want to capture everything we able to capture in our memory.

This probably is heaven.

Let's do it!

2009-07-18T04:00:00.001-07:00

Manchester United is in KL.
I'm going to watch Liverpool match live soon.
Hopefully can see Gerrad and Torres in person !!!! *dreaming*

Let's not looking back, Let's hope for the best for next week.
Let's do it!
Let's screw the grading system in LJMU, screw you all who have a blardy cock-a-hoop face (Mia, 2009).

Hell you all who gosok kasut, playing his balls.
Bless you with your first class.

SCREW all of you who are hypocrite, hurting people when smilling.

Ahem, What a woderful day!

Empty

2009-07-16T11:42:00.000-07:00

I guess what's in my brain is infinity of questions.

I never know what I lacking of, why I always can't perform well?

Why I never know what I need to do to get better?

I never know how to please everyone!

I can't turn myself into someone who charismatic, I can't change the fact!

Why human are so helpless in life?

I want to do something good out of my life, but end up I losing something in my life for good.

My parents always have confident on me, it's like every parents in this world, think their baby is the best.

They never know how many more genius in this world, and how little I am to compare with them.

Never compare, he said.

I try.

I never know how to do it, I was thought in this way, always compare with the best, then you'll improve.

The feeling is like this pocket is always full.

Suddenly you notice the middle of the pocket is rotten, it's empty, because there lies some mouse in the middle, bitting the filling everyday!

You try to reach into the pocket to get rid of the mouse, but you can't, coz the top is filled.

You seeing the pocket getting lighter and lighter each day, and you can't do anything about it.

Then one fine day, you see some fat mouse lying on the floor, laughing at you, having nothing done but letting it happen.

How to make everyone happy? How to make myself smatter?

Someone tell me please, perhaps you can?

Smily

2009-07-13T12:54:00.000-07:00

I am thankful for what I got,

legs to walk, eyes to see, hand to touch, mouth to talk, brain to think, heart to beat.

Parents who loves me dearly, a boyfriend who always there for me, friends who giving me strenght to move on, families who always make me warm when seeing them.

I am seeing good things coming, and I feel good about it.

I will have a good time in UK, yes I did.

I will have people around to help me, yes They do.

I will have parents to miss me when I miss them, yes they do!

I am having good time, study like a degree students and tutors to help out.

I am glad get to study what I wanted to.

I will have critical thinking, and going to do even better in next assignment.

yes, i'm feeling good about this.

Trembling down

2009-07-09T17:04:00.000-07:00

Things are shattered all over the place,trying to hold back the nausea of mine, but the inside is rotten.

My head was screwed, the engine was rusted, arms are chained.

You got 2 choices, run to the wall and end the pain, or live like this.

Look at the people who are successful with their life, perhaps they gone through much harder way.

I wasn't born with a smart head, neither good in writing.

Since young I've been asking myself what I good in? I mean, do I have any expertise?

I always thought myself will be an extraordinary, I'm still searching for it.

I miss my yang qing suddenly.

That's the best I can achieve in my life, but not good though.

Suddenly I can't remember the reson I'm here.

Just because of everyone is coming here? Or because I really want to study further?

I wish I could lie under the trees now, the place in the picture, Lake District.

Headache

2009-07-05T14:28:00.000-07:00

I'm now here, have my head bursting, reading whole day of books and journals, get rejected for my 900 words plan...clueless.

I've did everything I could have think to work this bloody assignment out, but still haha...i coudn't.
ok.
fine.

Still have other things to do, but can't do tat well once I can't figure out what'w wrong with my plan.

Long time never update my blog...glad to know someone to drop by!
Thanks Casey~
We crazy ah moi sit in my room gossip for almost 5 hours...assignment discussion kononnya. =.=

Here are some pics on York.
It's a beautiful place, a very historical place. Therefore, if you go without a guide it's difficult to understand the historial building there.
But still, it's gorgeous!

Scenery from the bus, it's breath taking.

York! Dengan kawan!
Behind us is the Roman wall.

Lunch :)

on people's treat!

York Minster, a gothic cathedral. Breath taking as well!

Angels.

National railway museum.

Ups and Downs

2009-06-24T12:59:00.001-07:00

There lots of things going on these days, scenery starts to fall apart, summer begins to be warmer.
Some pictures [old pictures] of Liverpool.
I'm fine, eventhough with piles of assignments to do. and shit loads of readings.

LFC.

Chester Trip

2009-06-04T04:21:00.000-07:00

3rd of June, Chester trip.
This is a free trip organised by the uni, you know, everything free is best.
The double decker bus is very very shakey, I nearly throw out.
But anyhow, Chester is another beautiful city, everyone there is very peaceful, walking around, sitting at the bench and smokes, senior citizens are everywhere, holding hands, chit chatting.

Brought our own lunch box there, to save cost. But still feeling weird to eat beside the street, and eating cold food.
Woke up in the morning to prepare fried rice for everyone, taste wise=bland.
Can't really fry anything in a pan...i need a wok...
Weather is chilly yesterday, that's is why I feel hungry always.
Here goes the pictures :)

Some leftover Liverpool Cathedral Pictures.

Part of the outlook of the cathedral.

Chester here we go!!

Old people everywhere.

wu liao...

A very kind stranger ang moh on the street.

Chester Cathedral.

Sadly it needs 3 pounds entrance fee...we gave up.

People waiting for the parade.

we're lucky enough to see ths march of these army, just came back from the war.

ok, we Chester-ed!

Liverpool wandering

2009-06-04T03:45:00.000-07:00

These days in Liverpool has nothing much, still struggle to save more money, mean time dying to go shopping.
Everyday plan what to cook for dinner in a dilicious and economic way for 6, counting the supplies of groceries, counting my own expenses, living life like a housewife.

Had our formal induction, had the first meal in Hotel, which probably the best since I step my foot here. Wandering in the city, adapting to the life here, looking for direction of Uni, visit some places of Liverpool.

This is my first time to Cathedral, more than any of the movie illustrate, a cathedral is facinating!
I felt greatness and impact when I saw the cathedral. It's awesome!
How can these people build this kind of building, so gorgeous and it's still usable until today!
All the carving and sculpture are brilliant!
Everywhere in Liverpool have a scent of aged, sacred, august...which I'll never find this in Malaysia.

Weather is good yesterday, slightly chill, not sunny, but will rain on friday.
Can't imagine how cold it'll be when raining.

With Fong Way infront og Subway, redeeming our free lunch using coupons.

Lunch valued for 4 pounds, but it's free! Always taste better.

Happeeee can makan for free....[noted these people had been craving for proper food for days]

A clown gave us baloons on our way back.
Blue sky, couldless...People here are peaceful and slumber.

First dinner. My infamous tomato soup. Thanks to TX for recipe :)

First day induction, building in front of the hotel.

Aldelphi Hotel, a very vintage victorian style of decor and building. Cozy and comfy.

Beef stew and bread, best.

Went to explore the town after that.

Found china town FAR FAR away from our accomodation.
Sadly, it's a dead town, nothing in china town except expensive chinese food.

Second dinner ")

Scenery outside my Uni building, it's just beside the largest Cathedral in Liverpool, awesome.

Dean Walters building.

In the cathedral.

Masterpiece!

The priest is our guide, showing us a place to baptise baby, and the use for the cover above.

More pictures coming up! Chester next time!

Ending and Beginning

2009-05-31T02:17:00.000-07:00

Here u go! pictures.

in Abu Dhabi...face look chaner and chaner

First scenery i saw from Manchester...this is awesome!

our rooms!

We're Malaysian yow!!

First meal...

the sun is HUGE...

blek ><

outside my window when it's 10.30pm. At night.

LiverPool

2009-05-31T01:40:00.000-07:00

I'm here, 3rd morning in my huge room!!!
Although I'm lazy to do anything now, but i think i should be responsible to my blog.
So here am I LIVERPOOL!!!!
UK is really a kindom of soccer...everyone here can start a conversation with football.
People here are nice, some don't like Asians...some are friendly.
We don't care! We'll just keep jalan and rayau along Liverpool untill we get use to it.
weather here is nice, but the sun is so hot!!!
the sun rise at 4am, dark at 10.30pm...long long day.
Luckily my jetlag is not very serious, probbly because of lifestyle i used to have, sleep late, wake up even later...

Still don't really have the feel where I actually leave home.
Everything here cost us a bomb after convert, if don't convert this is a perfect coutry to live.
Still dunno how to differentiate the coins here, they don't put numbers on their coin, just a tiny little alphebet there. =.=

still lacking of some neccessary items..i guess will get those by today.
Still have no idea where's the market is, no idea where's china town is..but so far is ok, we manage to walk and find most of the places ourself...
I can't imagine I come without these friends...There's no way I can find my way back.
Some ups and downs these days, hopefully I'll have a happeeee journey in the rest of my staying here.
I miss sambal a lot...
I should bring more food here damn.

Picture will be updated on next post, stay tune!

UK

2009-05-27T08:00:00.000-07:00

Last day in Malaysia before flying, though it's not a long trip, but still, I'll be missing everyone here for 3 months+.

I gonna miss sambal and chilli sauce so much, and my mom's home cook food, all my little cousins...dunno whether they still can recognise me after I come back.

The day before leaving I should plan to eat spicy food like crazy, but I end up sit at home finish up whatever left over in the fridge =.=

3 months, don't know what to expect, but surely an unforgettable experience.
Tons of assignments, lots of friends, and Europe trip!

Gonna face my luggage again, wonder how can I pack more than 30 kg of clothes =___=
I hate packing!!!

Blessed

2009-05-26T12:06:00.001-07:00

I'm filled with love and care from my families.
I'm filled with blessing from friends, especially baobeis.
I'm filled with excitement and misery.
In less than 48 hours i'll be on the plane to UK, with college mates that I treasure a lot.
So thankful to have people who concern about me.
I'm blessed :)

Pre Flying

2009-05-20T07:49:00.000-07:00

7 days before flying to UK.
I week to eat spicy food, lepak at mamak, suffer from the heat wave, stay in my lousy rental room, eat bak kut teh one more time, see some friends, eat more, and eat more.
Didn't know time flies, here we are, one more week to fly.
Congrates to those who pass the exam and flying with us :)

There LIST and LIST of things we need to do and shop for.
Suddenly everything need to be rush...

Haven't buy this yet...
aikz, xx need to buy or not? (as if UK dun have everything malaysia has)
Can bring in belacan ar?
How many/much clothes need to bring..
How many pairs of shoes.
No idea what to pack at all at this moment...
What food to buy over leh?
Need to bring mask? I mean mask, face mask, not facial mask...
Need to bring bolster? bed sheet? curtain? cloth? a shoe rak??
How to avoid over weight ...i mean, luggage!

Very FARN lo can die!!!

Tons of things need to think.

Luggage, Air ticket, bankdraft, money, which friend to meet, what to pack, what to buy...
Although I can't feel the excitement yet, but still have to accept the fact that we are going there 3 months of non stop assignments!

Etihad airoplane

Abu Dhabi, flight transit point. I find the airport is very nice lo...

then is Manchester...
everyone wear red over there?

Will miss my families deadly...
Gonna settle my laptop things also, so many files haven't transfer, and I dunno how to transfer I wish I can bring over my desktop to UK...PLEEASE?

Hopefully everything run smooth, and have a pleasent journey in UK / Europe.
I think this trip will be the memorable one, this is the point where we need to move on after graduate, cherish every moment spend with friends and with the 'student' identity.

Pray hard everything gonna be FINE in UK and Europe. *corssfinger*
haha.

Paris here I come! [as u see, I only wanna go travel]

Ah! And liverpool jersey also.

They made better pair.

2009-05-13T10:29:00.000-07:00

Coldness run through my soul.
There's no hole in this shoes, but big hole in this heart.
Both of you have so much in same.
You make better couple.
Voices in my head said, turn back!

I need a nice outing.
I wanna watch French movie.
I want to walk to bank and get my stuff done.
I need to be with my friends.
I need to get out.
I need to forget.
I need a promise.
I need another me to give me a hug.
I need to find your shadow on my bed.
I need to pull the string.
I need to hold back.
I need to move.
I need to watch an orchestra concert.
I need to get things done.
I need my mom.
I need to have bak kut teh.
I need to have a suprise for myself.
I need a better plan.
I need to get rid of my mouth.
I need to pull my hair.
I need to bitch.
I need more tears.
I need a bottle of drugs.
I need to fly.
I need to script.
I need to run.
I need to swim.
I need to travel.
I need money.
I need my cousins.
I need a ride to home.
I need an admittance.
I need an identity.
I need simple.
I need to blog.
I need to hide.
I need to be at KLCC.
I need to go to the zoo.
I need to imagine.
I need flowers.
I need fresh air.
I need no more scolding.
I need...a breath.

Rain.

2009-05-12T22:58:00.000-07:00

It's raining outside, really raining...
It chase away the heat in my room, but not inside me.
Perhaps after this I can see a rainbow?
No rain no rainbow.

Get up from my bed, in heat, din get any better.
Still bitter like yesterday.

Some drama soundtrack playing, even sadder.
Have no idea what is wrong with me, tons of things haven't done, must I wait to do my things?
My bank things, my laptop ...

I shall start my day with a nice shower, and home cook food from my granny.

Good morning yesterday.

Shout out!!!

2009-05-12T10:52:00.000-07:00

I don't like this, wake up from nightmare, no one to talk to, alone with myself in this empty room.

I never felt so terrify in my dream before, I cried so many times, scream and shout, but still this is useless because I know I can't get back what is gone.

I saw them lying on the floor, shattered.

Everything is covered with flesh and blood. It's horrifying.

Hate myself like this, stupid fat ass, idiot I am.

I'm always stupid in front of you. I don't like people look at me from high.

Stupid pride and ego.

I'm not flawless, in fact I'm full of weaknesses.

I have no more confident, hating myself more.

I'm so not like others. People can forgive 'others'.

Can't find myself out of your shadow.

Have I throwed away long ago?

I want a good night sleep, dreamless.

Look forward to another sun rise.

自分に捜している。
今のあたしは、おまいえの前に、何もできない。
希望を祈る。

Celebrations!

2009-05-07T01:18:00.000-07:00

Less words this post, just gonna post some pictures...
Today only I know photobucket can edit photos!!!
LOL..having fun edit photos~ignore my shyok sendiri-ness :)

Part one!

A celebration *wink*

A present *grin*

A darkshadow =__=

First time in Wendy's :)

Tasty flour ball=tako yaki!!!

Part Two

sweetie :)
Fong Way is the chef of the day! Expertise in Scallop!

Udon

焼き物=BBQ stuff

The hungry people

Dragon ball dessert

Destroy....

Girl power!!!!

See Hui Hsien so ganas~

Krispy Kreme!!!!!

Part Three

Jun's Birthday!!!

A kiss for you. Oops, I kissed a girl...I like it...

So cute!!

The Sim!

The pretties :)

Jun and Lisa~

This is why I LOVE <3 !!!!!

2009-04-30T09:18:00.000-07:00

YUP!

This is why I love J-pop rappers!!!

Lemme introduce to you, one of the Japan greatest rapper--RIP SLYME!

Rip Slyme is a Japanese hip hop group. It is composed of 4 MCs; Ryo-Z, Ilmari, Pes & Su, and 1 DJ, Fumiya. Two of the emcees, Ryo-Z and Ilmari are also member of Teriyaki Boyz!

'Tokyo Drift' proves that Malaysian is can accept Japanese rap no doubt at all! XD

I started listening to one of their song back in 2002. 'Rakuen Baby'

I can't illustrate to you how special Japanese rapper is, but the way they rap I can't find in neither chinese rapper nor blacks rapper.

Or Mayb just because they rap in Japanese Engsrish??!!???LOL

Now I can heard one or two chinese rapper rap like them, but still...a lot to improve.

Many things unique u can find in Japanese rap music.

They wrote their own song normally, you won't find a single dirty words in their lyrics, their lyrics are very optimist and meaningful.

They can compose 'melody' by simply rapping, they don't juz 'talk', but 'sing' to you in words.

Their song composition is always amazing, and they normally produce their own song.

Their DJ always so yeng!

This is my favourite J-rapper style, those like m-flo, rip slyme, orange range, def tech, ketsumeishi, Uverworld...gosh I so love J-rap!

Recently I listen to Rip Slyme--Stairs, their latest single times and times.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1cK5ACj5gjA

I don't listen to every of their songs, in fact, I seldom listen to them.

But this song just hooked me and the melody juz spinning round and round in my mind.

Just like when I listen to their another song, 'Rakuen Baby' 7 years ago, I keep listening untill now! This is is unbeatable, best holiday/vacation/summer song in my list!

I dunno what happen with blogspot coz I can't embed video here...So I juz gonna give you the link, do listen and let me know whether it's good or not k!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkGt1bS78ew&feature=related

Da Bao!

2009-04-25T10:23:00.000-07:00

After weeks of discussion, 6 days of shooting, it's finally WRAP, DA BAO, BUNGKUS!!!
Although it's freaking tired after wrap, but still, I feel relief. [That's why I went for movie justnow..haha]
There's tons of work need to be done; plans, assignments, air ticket thingy, editing...
at this point of time, I just wanna rest my leg :)

How frustrated I faced these few days doesn't matter now, most important thing is we able to work this out!

Thanks to everyone who contributed in this prouction, Million thanksssssssss :)
Especially to HuiHsien, her mom, her sister, her house, her car... who contributed the most in this production, Arigatou! ;p
To WeiXiang who manage to memorise all the lines and be our main talent.
To JC for the equipments, it helped us solved a lot of problems.
To all the extras who appear in the short film, sorry for not mentioning names because there's many of you. Just let me thank you all, you know who you are rite? :)

What I learnt in this production, is I really can't work for long term in production.
I think I'll somehow die because of dehydration, overly stress or unhealthy lifestyle...
I don't wanna say this but this definitely is a 'guy' job...

Hopefully this 'still no name' production can turn out to be a good one.

peace.

Penang Kia!

2009-04-19T21:02:00.000-07:00

So much of Hokkien in this island,so much of memories with my dearest friends here...
Here I am, sitting in the suite *grin*...business suite type, with jacquzzi and seperate work place and king size bed leh~~~typing this 'happy post'

Just went up from the tub, it's awesome feeling, floating in the water..i mean half floating...
well, this short relaxing period is like a short break from all the fuss and stress back in kl.
There's 20 of us,3 generation, 4 cars heading north from ipoh.
It's so fun with family, i LOVE annual family trip.
Although Penang is a bit bored without friends, but it still fun! *minus all the kids crying, merajuk ing parts...*
Sadly I can't find any good food here....coz with my granny, so have to find something they can eat, which is NASI.
They don't feel a thing without eating rice.

Didn't bring my camera smart me..so i think i'll just post a few picture from my hp.

I'm going back to ipoh later...
Bubuai~ Penang...!!!

Hell oooooo assignments...assignments and more assignments!

Tadaa!!!!Pictures~[updated 30/4]

Ipoh Foh San HUGE har gao...:P

My house toilet...

the view....mou dik dai hoi geng arrrrrr!!!!

The poser and the atuk.

Anlene gold and silver.

Ladies rules!!! I love this picture~~~everyone look so pweety~~~3 generations yow!

Negativity

2009-04-16T13:41:00.000-07:00

I have so much emotions today.
When I throwing up in the toilet justnow, was so many things on my mind.
There was so many things spinning around when the water splashing on my skin.
My mind is blank now.

Drowning in negativity.
Something bad, so so bad.
I tried this before, times and times.
I've learnt to build myself a wall, but it is getting vulnerable now.
I've forgetting the rule of playing the game.
How forgetful I am!

Whenever I writing blog post, I'll recall back my past 8 years back.
8 long years I've been tasting the unpleasent, it's back haunting me again.
Each time people telling me :" what's wrong with you?"
For the 8th years I lose this person, I think it's really my matter for being so immature.

I will be more defensive.
No more pinkish fluffy bed time story.
No more believing in naked truth.
No more self deceiving.
I'll study my philosophy of hope.
I know something good shall happen to me.
A happy post next time?

I know...

2009-04-10T23:48:00.000-07:00

I'm the 6th, perhaps 7th or more...

My value can only be seen when I'm needed the most.
Most people take me for granted, even for those who say they will never do that, still doing that subconsciously.

Those who treated me truly from the heart, are getting misty, blurry, hazy...whatever you like to call it.

I can't see them clearly anymore, can't be sure that they will be right beside me, can't feel them in my palm, can't hold them that often, can't see them in my future.

I can't even sorted out a handful of person who will be there, laugh and tear with me in my contact.

The damn e learning is getting me much stress these days.

PMS as well.

Why things never go as what I think?
Perhaps I need to revise Law of Attractions again.
It gives me faith, strenght and power to hope for the future, for something good.

How do I move on when I see no security and certainty in front of my path?

I'm looking at the people, same old faces, different feelings.
I wondering in my mind, do they notice about me? What do they think about me? Are they feel the same as I do?

People are laughing by my side, my realm is gloomy than ever.
The expression on their face, make me think of my good old days, when I still in the bond of the kingdom.

Things change drastically, I sometimes wonder why would this happen?
Am I worth to give up so many good things because I want to pursue future?

xxx

Things changed drastically.

They used to smile differently, laugh differently, treating you differently.
It can be better, it can be worst.

When I thought I finally found someone who can accept who the real me was....the cycle repeat itself.

How I wish I am FourFeetNine.

I guess this is my instinct, trapped in this wheel of life.

Twice I tasted the bitter of falling into a quicksand.
It's fast, it's adventurous, at the same time there's sand in your mouth, and you taste sand.

Sometimes I just like to dream for someone could spoil me badly.

Life is about give and take.

I've been living within myself for so long, and I went through trillions of things in my brain cell.

When I reveal my true self somewhere in the dark, I hope to see the light.

My light is off. Perhaps the bulb is burnt.

Hola Pola!

2009-04-08T02:33:00.000-07:00

I never try Polaroid before, but this funky software just lemme have an experience of real [almost real] poladroid!

The outcome is so poladroidness~
The color will slowly tranfrom from yellowish become vivid, and it even allows you to safe when the final out come not ready...the yellowish kind of poladroid, yall know?

From this~

To this! Hola!

This is so FUN~

The best thing is everyone in the polaroid picture looks nice~
Blurish=no pores, no pimple, no flat breast, no spare tyre...etc.

Just go to www.poladroid.com and download a copy, it's so easy and fun!

Here we go! Shyok Sendiri pics~

Looks like 60s Kyoto back alley, infront of the little Ramen stalls~

I'm very lazy and hopeless in photoshop, this poladroid thing just adjust to the best color~I love it!!!

Starvation

2009-04-03T04:08:00.000-07:00

I really lazy when someone not around.
I am too lazy to walk out of my room, too lazy to open my door, too lazy to get down the street and buy myself food.

My face is so oily[ i can feel] and I'm wearing my old lubang t-shirt so I dun wanna go out...
I'm wearing specs so I dun wanna go out!!

Perhaps I've been so lazy and have maggie mee for 3 days straight and I don't wanna loose my hair no more.

I'm so scare of going down the street and bring back take away in my hand and walk alone like everyone else.

I so hate seeing people holding da bao food on their hand...

*crap*

well, I guess I just gonna eat my own fat arm for dinner+luch+ propably breakfast.

Hmm...I don't think tat's enough for my fat tummy.
So I gonna eat another arm off...

Wait...How am I gonna type if I have both arm gone?

Well, I gonna eat my fat belly off because I always hate my belly.

Ok, deal.

Dinner + Lunch + Breakfast = Flabby arm + fat oily juicy belly!!!!

Here goes, I'm ripping my arm off...

[I'm now typing single handed]

ok...I go dabao luuu~~*grin*

It's true I hate da bao...

Tenji Japanese feast!!!

2009-04-02T12:06:00.000-07:00

I had enough for all the E shitting learning stuff...
These days been nothing but E learning. Everytime anyone mention about this my head will get dizzy, tons of things lining up to be clear off, but I've done nothing.
Enough for that.

I've been crave for a decent Japanese buffet for so so long.
One night when I studying in McD for the E learning [you see! here it goes again!!] I came across this Tenji Japanese buffet promotion in The Sun.
It was a great deal to dine in because the lunch promo is only 49.90++ and the supper is only 39.90++.

I just want to try my luck by calling to book a table. I tried amny times, just when I wanted to give up, the operator picked up my phone!!!!
After some hiccups and some accident, we finally manage to go Tenji!!
It's strange because I feel so relief when I step in the restaurant.
Just because I wanted this for so long, I'm getting ancious when I faced trouble...

I might be too over about this, but I feel it worth for me to do so.
It might be the best dining experince ever!

The freshness of the food, and the shocking variety of the choices, it's all well worth!
I tasted the best Oyster, generous portion of unagi, freshest sashimi, and the first Hagen Dazz I ever tried.
gosh...

Table 113

Cozy environment

A picture says thousands words....

Hagen Dazz...omg==
I never like ice cream but this one is heavenly good!

Irresistable!!

Group picture without me...

Thanks KK [the crab killer] for the pictures. :)

the bil sum up RM 53 per person. [coz they charge the tax according to the normal price, which is RM 88)

It's a great deal for this kind of food. I read many of the floggers comparing Tenji and Jogoya.
Although they saying Jogoya is more classy, but hey, with RM53 and this kind of gourmet food...Hell no way you can find in Jogoya!

I just so so in love with Japanese food!!

The most chee siin online thingy!

2009-03-16T04:47:00.000-07:00

This is my awful experience logging in black board.

6.05pm- Start logging in.

6.30pm-Madness. Cannot find any 'FORUM' at all!

7.20 pm-'FORUM' found, I can't find it because it just never show up (loading forever) on the left hand side.

7.49pm-Clicking in 'INTRODUCTION'. Loading and loading and hanged.

7.54pm- Finally I saw NAMES on the page. Clicking in the other page trying to find my name. Loading.

7.57pm- Still loading. Chatting with FW (Complaining actually ><)

7.58pm- Still....according to FW it's something to do with heavy rain justnow. Which I don't know why because there was no rain yesterday and I still can't log in. Or streamyx? Or whatever...==

8.01pm-#!$%^&*#$*&%$#!%^&*

8.06pm- Resresh. Loading stopped.

8.17pm- All over again. Great.

What kind of stupid server is this?
I heard that we have to post a introduction before today 12pm or else we are going to be barred BECAUSE WE DIDN'T POST AN INTRO.

Fine.

Yesterday

4.05 pm- Trying to open the student page, failed.

7.00pm- Try again. Failed.

11.15pm- Try again. Failed.

11.20pm- Try on my brother's and my housemate's computer. Failed.

I believe that the heavy traffic of the server cannot accomodate so many students doing posting at the same time. So I think I just gonna do it the other day.

But the email freak us out.
The only thing i can do by that time is to call FW to help us out, since she is the one I know who have no problem with the intranet.

What kind of insanity is this?

I don't think is my network of anything to do with my bandwidth.

I opened facebook, no prob.
Even XiaXue's blog that usually took up more time to load also seems ok.
So what on earth happened to the intranet??????
Or blackboard just turned to white board?

Days become stressfull and shitty since LJMU thing starts.
Hate this kind of feeling .

Glimpse of light.

2009-03-14T06:47:00.000-07:00

Is there anything call post PMS? PPMS?

These days things get jumbled up.
Uncertainties, uneasiness, despair, nerves, confusion, and pretty much of dissapointment wandering around my mind.

What is the purpose of life?

What is the purpose of getting so much trouble in dealing with people just to lead myeslf to more trouble? More despair perhaps?

Why are there such foolish that can hurt others and make things more complicated, and yet know nothing about human's feeling at all?

Thinking of covering my friend's pet site, but not in this joyful mood at the moment.

Everything just grey...

Get back my empty phone, as empty as my mind when I saw the phone.

Years of memories, loads of happy and sad, tons of cares and tender.
All gone in a blink.
Tearing in silence, but nothing help, it's gone.

Getting back my phone doesn't make any good to make up my day, but it just got worst.

Cloudy day tonight.

It's an art to communicate with people, where I am always not good in this.
It's an highly sophisticated form of art.
Not to say to becoming noble.
We can never be.

Just the art of interact with people, knowing each other heart and cares for others deeply from the heart.

There are people who born with the charisma. Wherever they go they will have the spotlight of the crowd. People will wait for this kind of people to take the lead. Whenever this people say something, the rest will remain silent, adoringly listen to what he says.

There are people who like to be alone. Quiet and normal, never wants to have a taste of being everyone's sweetheart, but just enjoy the ordinary me. Nothing bad about this, at least they are happy with who they are, and just need not to being a follower, nor a leader.

There are people who wanted to be someone so hard. But this kind of people has no power to sway other people, will forever become a follower, supporter. Opinion just become mute from their mouth, no one is listening to your words. Ignorence is not on a purpose, but this fellow just born with this...something. Not being able to let other people hear your voice. Once in a while, when you yell out your words, and people just happen to stop talking and listening to your word, they have no idea how amazing you are! But after that things goes back the same, again.

Knowing how huge impact one's word can be.
It's like a sword, viperish, hurting the innocent one.
It might not be a conspiracy no.
But unintentional words, or action can mean so much to someone cares about you so much.
This is the first time I saw someone take this so seriously.

Maybe this is not the first time for me, I'm getting use to it actually. I can get comfortable within days.
But for someone who truly want to be your friend, get hurts, badly.

It's time for you to open up.
Forget the past.
Get use to it, and soon you'll understand the meaning of everything.
Life is a circle.
People come and go, time past, we learn.
Shitty things do happen sometimes, but no one can stop you for being who you are, and how lovely you will always be.
Let go for what winding your heart.
Look further, there's lots more blissful thing.
There will be something over the rainbow, just let the rain falls, and you're not alone.

Lucky unlucky

2009-03-09T01:27:00.000-07:00

Not so good these few days.

I can get angry with things easily [or many things make me angry at once?] , and get tired easily ==

Go to hell PMS, you guys will never understand the annoyance of being a girl, especially when you have problem with your 'best friend' ==

After a long walk under the boiling hot sun, everything turns hot.

First is my phone showing me color.
Then is my brother showing me color.
And then everyone showing me color. I.Q Bal especially.

He make me damn potong stim don't feel like going to UK anymore.

When I get my phone I have so many problems, but i sorted it out one by one. And just when I feel like my phone is problem free, it gives me problem AGAIN!

For one moment, I told myself:" Am I suppose to change the god damn phone, since it shows me I'm not a Nokia user?"

12/3/2009

No phone now since 2 days ago...so not use to it ==

Baby please come back to me!!

So not right these few days. Everything is messy, everything is not in order, everything is out of my expectation, everything makes me wanna scream and yell for no reason.

Talking to the only sibling who stay so close to me but never got an answer.

This is one thing I really furious about.
[I really don't know what am I writing now and I am very ( ) at the moment...]

People are funny . Even sometimes I am funny I know.

I just have to learn, learn how to take things easily.

Hopefully I can be Lindsay Lohan in Just My Luck, luckier than ever.

Uncertain about future, feels damn useless now.
I'm 21 (going to be 22), still not earning any bread for home.
Have a brother that more uncertain about future than me.
And he probably will change course, meaning my parents have to spend more money for his education. [not guarantee will have return on his investment]

Living in my 4m X4m small bird cage, messy and untidy.
Clueless about what to do in the future, what can I do in the future.
Wanting to hang out with friends everytime, looking for fun, irresponsible for my own life.
Taking money from parents every month, and my dad have to work even he already exceed his age of retirement.
Never done anything that make me proud of myself, or let my parents proud of me.
I can't promise that I can pay back for what my parents had pay for me, even though I receive more and better education than both of them.

Useless.

I wanna have my own car by 24, my own house before 27, my career before 30, sending parents for Europe trip before 28, clear up my PTPTN loan before 28, have my first 5 digit FD in my bank before 26, pay back my parents at least 1k per month.

Unrealistic I know, but not unreachable.

First you have to put aside your dream, your interest, and you have to work like a donkey 24/7, hope for a promotion, work late for another 5 years, hope for another promotion, and save enough money to do investment. Live like anyone else in the city, dream about what you crave for in the past. Being a Normal boring and nerd white collar. And that's all.

Emo =.=

Beach, Sea, Sand, Blooming youthood!

2009-02-28T07:07:00.000-08:00

Hop on two cars, late afternoon, people in the car, chicken in the ice box, poker cards, Carlsberg.
Here we go, off to Port Dickson!

The last time I went to Port Dickson is because of a bloody assignment shooting.

It was 5 in the morning, we're all not willing to get up from bed but force to.
Not very pleasent journey because we are all under stress, but end up we still do star jump together.
For one moment, I nearly thought it was a great assignment.
But now someone *ahem* keep reminding me how dissatisfy and frustrating he is, I feel ulterlly guilty.

i'msorryokayit'smyfaultishoun'tbesosiaozhaboandirritatingmakeyouallhatemeforrestofthesem. *bow*

Coming back to this same place, with totally different people, mood and relationship, I get excited for going to a trip with these friends who can always make me laugh!

Sepuluh Orang, 2 days 2 nights, sunshine and Sunshine Bay, ants, Poker and Beer...Here we go!

The all time jokers.

Beach!!!! Finally!!!

Com'on, let's pose~
JT: I'm dark shadow, don't you see??

Preparing for BBQ while the day still bright.

Someone is trying to pretend busy...

Let the feast begin!
We makaned very nice roasted lamb, chicken wing, drumstick, jagung, sweet potatoes, and even raw meat!
Picture courtesy of See Yeong

The next day. Not so pretty beach, more like a huge longkang.
See how frust Mr.Dark Shadow is!

Chic No.1.

Chic No.2

The beach,again. This one better, and cleaner.

I purposely put this two picture together one so that I look slimmer. *grin*

'what's that??'

'what what?'

JT:who's this panda?

After wx was thrown into water.

Third day, head back to KL, stop by Seremban, must have Siew Bao.

The same Siew Bao stall 2 years back.

Beef Noodles completed the trip.
Too bad See Yeong cannot take beef.
The nicer one didn't open that day, this is another shop, decor and price are nicer.

Port Dickson's sea water is like salt water mix with trash, oil, and more trash.
My face start itchy after 5 minutes in water.
The smater Kok Keong, Mun Yi and Lydia just stay at the beach, watching us playing in the poluted chemical sea water.
Weixiang wanna stay at the beach initially, but we are too eager to have him in water, so we thrown the gigantic panda into the water~yay!

What a holiday!

Everyone loving it!

2009-02-20T19:16:00.000-08:00

Now I'm sitting here, right in front of my computer, and I still have McD's brew coffee in my breathe.
McD is giving out discount coupons since last week, and I had McD for breakfast, 5(FIVE!!!) days in a row.

We're quite exaggerate for having McD breakfast so often, and we can even stay up till 4 in the morning just to wait for the breakfast.
I wonder why they don't sell McMuffin during day time? It's much better than normal bugger bread!

I was once so hate fast food, and now I have McD almost everyday...sigh.
I just simply enjoy reading newspaper and have a sip of nice coffee. I don't afford to go bucks-bintang, McD is good enough for me.

I'm not writing advertorial fyi (I'm not that good to write any actually), just wanna show you something farnie in this McD coupon.

normal t&c printed on the coupon,
'not valid in Genting McD, not exchangeable for cash, 5% gov tax, blah blah blah...'

WAIT!!!

*Photocopies are ALLOWED*

har*wink*??
Normally is photocopies NOT allow, but Uncle Ronald seems a bit desperate to stimulate the sales, and therefore not only photocopy allowed, but also Download allowed.

And crazy people like us, really betul-betul hontouni go and download the coupon, colour printed and cut out nicely wtf...

McD like kinda one of the most unhealthy fast food, but they tend to make it looks very nutritious and balance diet.

Ok, let's take a look how much calories in one set of sausage McMuffin with egg.

Sausage McMuffin with egg-357kcal
Hash Brown- 145kcal
Coffee- 139kcal
Total-641kcal.

This is the total count for ONE cup of coffee...many of you all,like me, won't satisfy with only one cup of coffee,coz it's FREE refill. I'm sure drink more than one cup, com'on la, we pay for it already ok...well, for a set of breakfast, it seems quite ok for the calories.

Let see how much calories in a large set of McValue meal.

Spicy Chicken McDeluxe-643kcal
French Fries-431kcal
Coke-213kcal
Total-1287kcal

A female like my height (around 166cm) , moderate weight need around 1800 calories per day.
Make it 2000kcal, a set of McD like this already took up more than half the calories you need per day! Scary huh...

It's not THAT healthy eating McD you know, and it quite pricey.

Now they are having promotion RM5.95 lunch, for McChicken, Double cheese burger, Chicken McNugget and Fillet-O-Fish.

McD is so licik you know.
Previously before the price hike, McChicken and Fillet-O-Fish is only Rm6 something (don't really remember the exact price), zhong zhi jau much cheaper la. But now they're having promotion and make it sounds like it's really cheap!
Com'on la..that the previous price lo...

but STILL, I 'm one of them who attracted by the price. LOL.

This place always been our all time favourite.
I really mean, ALL time.

Pictures courtesy of z2ww :)

I'm Loving it!

ここに、ふたりだけ...

2009-02-15T04:56:00.000-08:00

Suddenly, In the starry night, and the whole night view of KL, I saw rainbow, in the sky.

I never knew on this day, traffic will be so terrible, everywhere will be filled with people, long queue everywhere.
This is over-commercialise.
But still, there are so many people willing to be conned...:)

Although it full of hassle and people everywhere, but still, thanks for giving me all these that seems impossible for me.

ありがとう。
私のそばにいってありがとう。
すべてをありがとう。
あなたがいるから、この日は特別なんだ。
大好きだよ!

Gathering

2009-02-13T05:53:00.000-08:00

My primary school has a great history in Ipoh, it considered one of the oldest school in Ipoh.

I remember the school will flood whenever there's heavy rain. During my time, we still study in the wooden building, where the wood is only cover half of the wall. It's exactly like a kandang u know...!!!
Last time when there's heavy rain, two rows of students have to shift to the seats further to the window, because the rain will blown in from the window.

But still, we having so much fun playing ropes hopping under the huge old tree, hiding treasure on the tree, having assembly under the willow tree, took part in singing and story telling competition under the same willow tree.

The school notice about the school building seriously need to rebuild, and the headmaster by that time worked very very hard to raise money from every possible way to fund raising.

And now, no more kandang classroom, what's replace them are all concrete and bricks building, with a huge dewan and nicely facilitated.

Although I'm being a nerd most of my primary school time, do nothing but study and try to memorise all the essays for dictation, but still I having great time study in Primary school--SRJK(c) Yuk Choy. 育才华小。

The way the school name our class is very cute, we're in the first class of primary 6, they called us 小六一。

Since we graduated from primary school, it has been 10 years from now. The class gathering every CNY had been practice till now, for 10 years. We visited mainly 2 teacher, 1 is our English teacher, Mr.Phan, and our beloved science teacher, Ms. Liew.

I can still recall that I affraid of my science teacher a lot, because she always give a lot of homework, and she's a straight teacher. She will beat us with rottan whenever we did not so good in test. But now, she treat us like children more than students. And we are so glad to have her as teacher.

I can remember clearly how they looked like when they're in primary school.
Most of them are juz simply nerd..you know all first class student, they'll have the nerd looking.
But now, look at them, they look so different, all are more handsome and prettier. (and taller)

It's not easy to have primary school friend still keep in contact, that's why this kind of anual gathering is extra special.

Ms.Liew--the science teacher aka our mama.

Uncle J the b.boy

Group photos at Mr.Phan's house.

新年快乐

2009-02-08T02:48:00.000-08:00

This is my favourite Chinese new year wishes, simple, direct and meaningful.
My mom don't like us wishing people prosperous and wealthy. She said without health and happiness, you won't be able to enjoy wealth. I think is so so true.

I think Chinese new year is a disaster for every mommy in every family.
From house cleaning work to the cooking for whole families, everything have to complete by the poor women in the family.

Chinese new year is giving everyone a reason to be a pig at home, eat and sleep and eat and sleep everyday. Everyone can just finish eating and walk out of the dining table. They won't care how the dishes on the table will disappear and the fruits or dessert will be served in awhile.

Familiar?

This is how every mommy worked like donkey every chinese new year.

CNY CHECK LIST:

house cleaning-no date line, neverending.
cny shopping-generate economy, buying sky-high price vegtable, fish and prwans [because of '年年有余' and '嘻哈大笑']
Baking and buying biscuits. Lots of them.
CNY decoration-no matter how simple you want it to be, mommy will never stop decorating the house.
Withdraw money-for ang pow lah!
Take out jewelleries from safe box.
Prepare what to cook from reunion dinner to chor 4?5?6?......
Cleaning again.
Prepare accomodation and schedule for overseas relatives.
Rush to boutique to buy last minute new year clothes. Too busy with housework.
Repeat the steps above. (FOR GRANDMA'S/ MOTHER IN LAW'S HOUSE)

Yes. This is how tiring CNY can be.

Seeing my mom rush here and there, plan this and that. Having sleepless nights because she have so many thing to plans in her mind, yet, she need to bother about office work. I wonder isn't every mother have to do this? Or just my mom over-concern?

Grandpa slaughtering chicken...I love to watch him slaughter chicken since I was a kid.

My mom is the one who have to cook for reunion dinner every year. Normally my drandma will help. But my granny is getting older, and she is so tired doing housework all by herself. (Kampung house is huge you know!)

This year my mom is doing the cooking all by herself. My mom and my aunt even prepare dishes the day before, because there are too many people to feed during cny.

But I think the thing that satisfy my mom most is everyone eating her dishes happily, and with a 'thankiu'. That's why I hate people wasting food...it contains so much of hardwork, shouldn't be wasted. We'll feel very bad when we have to wash the mountain high plates and saw so many left overs.

This chicken worth RM 125+!!Chicken king....

Well, please help your mom during cny if you can ok?

Let our mommy have a happy chinese new year.

Nu Bra for dinner????

It's jelly fish babeh~

Guess what is this?

canon 40D? kids nowadays....

baby!!!

me and aunties...

Fireworks at kampung ROX!

My aunt and I...juz 1 year older than me.

ça va vous coûter cher!

2009-02-02T07:24:00.000-08:00

Au revoir.

I'm here to tell you a story.

Once upon a time, there is a girl, who know nothing about some creature who named 'man'.

She know nothing about the society, and for her, fairy tale is everywhere. Everyone she met is from the story book, robin hood, batman, spider man, little mermaid, lion king and whatsoever.

Once day, she met this creature she first thought he was a bad guy from cartoon, dangerous, ugly. But then he proved her wrong, he is just a prince from snow white. Riding white horse coming to save the princess from poison. This snow white was stunned when she saw the prince. Not because of his good looking, is because he is the first one who calling her 'my dear princess...'

Fairy tale is always good.

She respect the prince, feel very impressed for his talent and effort. He's caring, kind hearted, hardworking, family loving, fabulous personality, charismatic, down to earth...

He feed the horse himself, he mix around with the 7 dwarfs, do the house works, play around with the animals...he is just perfect.

Snow white taught that she had made a great friend, and she feel overwhelmed about this, happily ever after with the prince and 7 kind friends.

As time goes by, snow white founds that prince charming is getting more and more busy, and spend lesser time with all of them.

One day, snow white is going to the the town to grab some groceries. She knew she'll pass by a creepy, old tall tower. The people say there's a witch called Rapunzel lived there for years, and she kept a very long hair to scare people away.

When she reach the tower, she saw something very familiar--the prince's white horse. She was curious why on earth would the prince come to the ugly witch's tower. Quietly, she sneaks behind a big tree, watching closely what will happen.

Not long after that, she saw the prince appears from Rapunzel's tower, they're laughing, singing, eating, hugging and kissing. Everything looks so perfect when they are together. Rapunzel is not an old witch, but she is a very gorgeous young looking lady, with a long silky blond hair. The prince kissed her forehead, touched her hair gently, and climb down from the tower with her long smooth hair.

Snow white has just been through the longest moment ever.

She felt her cheek is burning, as if someone had slap her hard with hand or shoes. She felt heart burning also, because her heart was bite off by the prince. Her mind torn into pieces, she trying to reconstruct what had just happened in front of her.

OK, story till now, familiar? Like... desperate housewives? Cashmere Mafia? Sex and the City?

Nah...something like that, but in fairy tale character.

Heart breaking snow white tried to figure out what the hell is the prince trying to do.

She came back from other town, bring back food that he like the most. Pretend to be normal. Surprise surprise...the prince is still loving as usual.

Charming, caring, kind, helpful. The same hug for her, same good night kiss, same tender holding hands. Nothing change, just that what flashing in her mind keep spinning around like a roller coaster. She has been living her life so simple, now what she saw is so bizarre, her heart can barely take it.

This is what playing in her mind.

What am I?

There's no ending for the story.

Snow white is not living happily ever after with the prince. In fact, Rapunzel and snow white both sharing the same prince!

The prince is the only one who can live happily ever after.

Conclusion and moral of the story:

i) Don't you ever think that a good guy is good from what he show you.

ii) Snow white and Rapunzel are both idiot.

iii) the prince is the smartest character.

iv) Fairy tale is 'for kids only'.

Happy?
A pre-valentine's story :P
A creative one.

Happy Niu Year!!!

2009-01-28T08:27:00.000-08:00

Happy chinese niu year to you, you and you!!!

Take more ang pow, drink more beer, eat more ba gua, but stay healthy, eat well, sleep well, enjoy holiday well,drink more water, help your parents with the mess...blah blah blah..

Happy OX year~

Music that rocks me up!

2009-01-19T06:20:00.000-08:00

These few days my mind keep playing a song...round and round.

So I'm just wanna share this great artist with you all...(MUST LISTEN I DON'T CARE ><) UVERWorld

a Japanese Rock band known for their mixture of musical genres such as hard rock, electronic, and post-punk.

I believe for those who are die-hard anime fans will be very familiar with this band.
The band made their debut with the single "D-tecnoLife", which served as the 2nd opening theme song for the anime BLEACH.

Eeversince I knew this band, I was so amazed by the voice of the vocalist.
I never knew rock can be so unique.
You can never feel noisy listening to them, there's only power, energy, emotion, passion, love, creative and ROCK.

Takuya--the vocalist, the soul of the band. Bestest rock singer!

He composed and wrote most of the songs for UVERworld.
He's not only sing, but rap as well.
His voice is so unique, that he can interchange his voice between singing and rapping.
Not only that, he has so many different style of singing, you wouldn't believe is come from the same person.

I love most of their songs, but recently I just crazily in love with one of their 11th single

恋いしくて
Koishikute

What so special about this band, they not only hard rocking, but also sentimentalizing.
This is a slow tempo song, sentimental and emotive.
From the song I can heard what Takuya really want to tell the listener, his though when he wrote this song.
That is why when I listen to this song I feel the impact from his voice, and also his lyrics.

Lyrics (Japanese-Chinese) :

恋いしくて
编曲：UVERworld／平出悟
作词:TAKUYA∞
作曲:克哉／TAKUYA∞
演唱：UVERworld

君に最后に最后一次
打ち明けた对你说出心底话
梦の话のことは之前跟你说的梦想
うまくいっているよ现在正顺利地实现着
君といるはずだった时间は本应跟你在一起的时间
仕事に打ち込んだり不是用在工作上了
仲间と过ごしたり就是和同伴一起度过了
でもなぜだろう然而到底是为什么呢
たくさんの人に囲まれているときほど就算当时被再多的人包围着也好
この世界中で还是觉得在这世上
一人きりな気がして只剩我孤独一人
君の姿探してしまうんだ不自觉地又寻找你的身影来了

恋いしくて深深思恋你
君の名を呼んだ呼んだ不停唤著唤著你的名字
心のままに爱せばよかった当初有照心意坦率地爱你就好了
"さよなら"の訳を那个"再见"的意思
何度も缲り返す重复了无数遍
终わり告げたのに明知道已经结束了
消せない却还是无法消失

雨はいつも就跟往常一样
やむときを教えてくれずに雨从不告诉人们何时停下来
ただただ降り続く只是不停地下著
いつもと同じ就跟往常一样
时间通りの最终电车の中准时到达的尾班电车中
寄り添う恋人たち满是互相依偎的情侣们
ふいに気持ちがあの日と重なる突然间心情就与那天重曡
思いは褪せずに思绪丝毫未褪色
时间は経つのに明明已受时间洗礼
云の晴れない空の乌云密布的天空
涙がまだ止まらないんだ雨泪还是停不下来

恋いしくて深深思恋你
君の名を呼んだ呼んだ不停唤著唤著你的名字
心のままに爱せばよかった当初有照心意坦率地爱你就好了
臆病になってたんだ我因你变得胆怯
たとえば君がそこに咲く花ならば假如你是某处绽放的花的话
水を注ぎすぎ枯らす会被我过分浇灌而枯萎
守りすぎて日差し闭ざす会被我过分保护而远离阳光
分からなくなるほど都快弄不清楚一样
君のこと对于你的事情 I miss you
甘すぎる蜜は就像蜜糖要是太甜
その甘さゆえに嫌われ反而会因那甜味而生厌
绝妙なバランスがほら当完美的平衡你看
崩れ始めたとき要开始崩溃的时候
怖くなって我渐觉害怕
何が大切かを到底什么才是最重要的
分かった振りして我假装知道
话してしまった爱を结果却令我失去了爱
别れ话出会いの始まりだって别离其实是相遇的开始
言い闻かせて谁来教会我
今日も仆は歩いていくけど虽然今天我还在向前走

恋いしくて深深思恋你
君の名を呼んだ呼んだ不停唤著唤著你的名字
心が理解してくれないんだ心深处还是无法理解
"さよなら"の訳を那个"再见"的意思
何度も缲り返す重复了无数遍
终わり告げたのに明知道已经结束了

今はもう逢えないと如今已无法再相见
分かっているのに我明明很清楚
Woo…
仆はまだ理由を探している但我却还是在寻找那个理由
"さよなら"の訳を那个"再见"的意思
何度も缲り返す重复了无数遍

心に嘘が… 要对内心撒谎…

つけなくて我做不到

Summary:

This is a song about a man, who regret what he did to a girl.
Like most of us, he doesn't appreciate this person who love him the most, he spend time on work and friends rather with her.
This song illustrate how regret he is after she's gone, forever.
He never said he love her when they're together, and now he'll never have chance to do that again.
He wanted her back by calling her name times and times, but she'll never back again.
He is breaking down without her, although he know the fact that she'll never back again, but he can't help lying to himself, that he can let her go, but he couldn't.

Each time when they has a new single release, I'll addicted to them times and times.
Their music simply adore me, powerful beat,voice,music.

This is my favourite verse of the song.

深深思恋你
不停唤著唤著你的名字

Normal love song I know.
But when you listen to the way he sing, you'll know what I mean.
You can feel the desperation from his voice no kidding.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K94KcLkwHlQ

Tell me if u like it ")

Post exam

2009-01-17T18:51:00.000-08:00

Lunch for today...Tori Terriyaki and sashimi Bento+cawan muchi+gyoza+miso soup :)

Saturday, exam day, sleepless night, blurring mode, yellow paper, scatter notes, steamboat, smile. :)
Sunday, day after exam. Today, working.

Blog this in office, because I have to work today.
I am extremely tired yesterday I know, but I can't sleep last night, and I am, again, sekali lagi, mouichidou (Japanese), LATE !!!!
My smart brother wake me up after my alarm rang for 45 freaking minutes!!
Here am I, without make up on my face, came to office merely 10 minutes late. (My head is itchy now...)
I see those who used to see me during event, put up perfect make up, roll big their eyes and look at me, they have to think twice whether they met the same person...LOL
I guess I really look different without make up!

It seems I haven't been in office for long long time.
This place used to be a comfort zone of mine, during intern period.
I used to came here almost everyday after work, first is to work, second is to look for comfort, from those who I care.
Things change a lot you know. People tend to change to someone you don't really know.
Do they feel the changes? Do they know what they lost? Negative.
Now here is nothing more than a work place, and I get tired working here.

Last night when I can't sleep, I know I can't rely on counting bah bah black sheep...
Then I realised: 'hey...I actually completed my advanced diploma!'
Next question is :"What I'm gonna do next?'

[Dulan now...some non related people order me to do things for them. I'M NOT YOUR SLAVE LO TANKIU]

continue...
I really no idea what I'm gonna do next.
The closest thing to me, When to come back from CNY, even small things like this I can't really decide.
See, like what happened just now, what if people ask you do something that you not suppose to, and you don't know how to say NO?

I'm sure things like this will happen next time in workplace. And I don't know what to do!!!

People make mistakes without their notice. People don't really know they made mistakes most of the time!
They don't know because they don't think it's not right to do so.
They don't know because no one say :"hey, you can't do this to people, this will hurt their feelings."
They don't know because when the person did something not so ok, everyone will stay quiet and let the wind blows the word away

No one will give this kind of advice to your friend, even he or she is your closest friend.
I truly understand this. Because I won't do this either.
I can't risk my friendship because of other people.
What can you do when the person really hurt your feeling, unintentionally???
Again, is UNINTENTIONAL...means they don't mean that way.
Sometimes I know this deep down in my heart, but still, feelings is really weird.
When you don't feel right, it's like someone punch to your stomach, pinching pain.

Me either, can't avoid hurting others' feeling. And I might not know I hurt them.
Trying my best to become a better person.
Better person for myself, and for those who don't like my way.
It's a bit late to improve I know.
But I'll never walk alone.

waiting for Japanese lunch now...Muahaha.
Waiting to end this boring day.
These are my wuliao thoughts, as usual.

I want to wash my hair lar!!!!

Back to KL

2009-01-14T23:16:00.001-08:00

Monday, 4.30AM, Honda CRV, My Dearest Uncle.
Monday,6.30 AM, Proton Greeny, Panda eyes and pluffy Face :)

Here I am, back to KL like...3 days? (My maths is good u know)
Ipoh is seriously boring without a car.
and I am freaking anti social back in Ipoh.
I know I can go meet friends, but without a car i usually don't date people wan lo...

I am freaking regret I waste so much time back in Ipoh.
But you know....when you lying on your couch, and the pillow is so soft, the weather is so good, and no one disturb you, you will wanna just sleep your ass off rite? rite? rite?
ok, don't care.

The fact is I already wasted so much time at home, and I'm gonna waste some more here.
Keep telling myself that I can't study at day time...haha
But i know it's a excuse la.

My computer kena the stupid bastard spyware, and my 'brilliant' housemate just check my net speed from his laptop, and found out my computer has spyware.
Everyone knows computer is our life!
I can't ask anyone to help me format the computer, so I have to DIY.
Well, I have no idea at all how to format a PC, so I googled a lot of tutorial on how to format a PC at home.
I format like 3/4 times? No idea, and the PC is just not right!
everything is so wrong, cannot online, the previous files are still there, no sound from my PC...and so many more.
But still I manage to format this fella finally la...But now I have 2 OS in my PC now...swt.
I think I'm gonna buy a laptop and throw this back to my dad?
Haha :)

Ah...I experience a weird thing these days.
I changed my pillow, and this pillow really make me had a lot of weird weird dreams.
This morning when I still sleeping, I had a horrible terrible dream.
It's about my dad...and after I woke up from screams, I called my dad, make sure he is ok.
I feel so darn comfortable when I hear his voice...the stupid dream scare the hell of me ==
This is not the first time I had weird dream, ever since I change my pillow...
Should I take my pillow to temple? XD

This is just a boring post...Just to update my blog.
Well, guess I 'm gonna start study...(nah!!!!)
LOL, yeah, I is am gonna start study...haha!

Happy study folks!

EEEEPPPOOOOHHHHH!!

2009-01-05T09:08:00.001-08:00

Here I am, in my living room, smell of my home, breeze of IPOH, listening to Seconhand Seranade from 8TV, using my 'super speedy' computer...HOME :)
I've been away from home since last time I went back ipoh.
I miss my mom, my dad, my home, my cousins, foods...
This is how I live my life in Ipoh.

Morning-housework,movies.
Noon-lunch, nap
Night-dinner, chat with mom, TV

(Did you see any slot for study? I told you so! I'm busy...)

Well, this so called 'study week' for me is truly a 'recharge week'.
I live being a worm at home, expecting dinner from my mom...move around in this 5m x 5m space.

This is where I belong, I guess I don't have much time to enjoy such a leisure, sitting at home doing nothing.
Within a year, we are going to graduate from college.
It's just a blink, eversince I crave for graduation. But now, I don't think I won't be missing times with friends, times I slacking around, and times fill with tears and joy.

Chit chatting with my mom is the best thing in the universe.
We laugh for my cousins funny jokes, looking at the pictures.
And when I wanna show my mom my pictures at Melacca, she said :" I saw already, on your blog right?"
Then I went :"..."
I didn't know my mom checking my blog so regularly.
Then I said:"I changed my blog already."
Mom:"where? Facebook ar?"
Me:"..."

Very update hor this aunty ><

Right now, I'm just want to have a good time, resting at home...but missing KL :)

IP MAN, QG GIRL.

2009-01-03T07:27:00.000-08:00

Ip Man I think no one will question about, but what is QC GIRL?
QG=qi guai=奇怪 :) (ta daaaa~~~)
Will come to this later.

Today I went Mid Valley, watched this incredible nice movie--Ip Man.
You can pronounce it as I.P MAN, or YipMun...as you like.
Z2's I.P man gag really funny....haha.
It was so so so nice, every single scene is a climax，promise to catch your attention from the beginning till the end.
I like how the character being acted, very down to earth, a very 'human like' hero character.
After all, I do change my impression towards Donnie Yen, he certainly acted very well in this movie, in both action part and also the essence of the character.
Personally I don't have much feeling to HK movies, I watched a disastrous HK movie last time in cinema, 'Warloards'? forgotten already, but it is so sucks.
This is like the first time I watch a 'nice' HK movie in the CINEMA (you see, I really support original wan...)
Come back to Donnie Yen, I don't really like him actually.
First, he don't look good. Second, I don't like his acting. Third, I don't watch HK movie that much.
But in this movie He totally prove me wrong. He is good in acting, good in fighting, and good LOOKING!!! (I don't know why, I like uncle...muahahaha)
H e's so YENG in this movie. I wonder whether the real Ip Man is that cool...

After the movie, we walked towards the exit.
Here come the QG GIRL story.
We met a freaking weird girl at the exit wtfwtfwtfwtf ==

This pompuan, a bit chubby (above average la her weight), short, wearing yellow color blouse and pearl color pants，pony tail..(OMG, why I can remember so well wan )
like anyone else in the cinema, was so exciting walking out from the cinema.
I wonder whether she was so into the movie, feel like she's another hero from movie...
She walk in front of us, with her friends.
Last moment she was smiling, the next moment she asked her friend:"Is this the fella who kick your chair just now?"
Then the pompuan turn her back and scold us on our face, in Cantonese.
"哇，D人啊，好眉好冒，竟然踢人家个凳，真是没教养!” （this part I can't recall fully, most probably I still stunted there and my brain went totally blank.)
Both of us STUNNED there for about 3 seconds...
Then we asked each other:"she wasn't scolding us right?"
I HOPE SHE WASN'T.
Because the person in front of us is not freaking female, and I saw it with my own eyes, his leg was NOT touching any chairs throughout the movie damn it.
There's so many people around us you see, and after she finish scolding us (and we are still stunned there), people around us was looking at us.
I feel so insulted because we never did that! I swear I'll defend myself if I know what is happening just now.
Stupid bimbo can't you just talk to the person who kicked our chair DURING the movie and not after the movie.
IF you're educated and civilized, can you just talk nicely to the person with a 'please'?
Can't believe there's such a person!!!! I feel so embarrassed because people around us is looking at us.
After that I feel that she's embarressing herself, rather than embaressing us.
Well, anyway, just...(let it go)don't ever let me see her again ==

Luckily this QG didn't ruin my day. Or else I'll curse her...

Today is not too bad...didn't manage to buy clothes ,but I had a good time.
Shopping is so tiring I know, tankiu tankiu tankiu <3

Hopefully can dig something cheap and nice tomorrow~
(yes, I'm going to shop again tomorrow~yeah!)

Looking back...

2009-01-02T10:01:00.000-08:00

I know it's 2009...okayyy.
I'm kinda free today (yea, I mean I did NOTHING today!)
Thinking of the past, year 2008.
Whether you agree or not, I've changed, within a year.
I learnt to think other way, learnt to think on other's behalf, learnt to put myself into other's shoe, learnt how to care about people around, learnt to smile even I don't feel like, or perhaps I learning to become someone who isn't me?

But according to someone, I think is a good thing to be 'someone others want you to be'.
Face the fact, everyone loves the girl next door, sweet and harmless. Flawless character and always have a smile on her face.

(see, I told ya I really really free today, thinking about all these nonsense again~><)

Well, fyi I'm not emo, just being too free and think a lil bit too much.
I still can recall last year new year, I really felt the loneliness can die.
Feel like abandoned and getting sad for the year to come. Getting older? Same old shit?
People saying I'm thinking too much for my age, yea...they told me the same thing few years back...so, still too young? LOL

Last year is really a year for me to experienced a lot of things.
Many of them way out of my control. Many times I tought I'll break down, but my edge is way so far than I expected.

I've been through a lot of emoness...I mean...A LOT. (Don't believe? check my spaces's post lah.) I experienced hope, and lost. Thrill and fear. But at last, a taste of sweetness :)
The most important thing is--I learnt.
The theme song for last year October until November is 'The Man Who Can't be Moved--by The Script'

Going back to the corner where I first saw you,
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag I'm not gonna move,
Got some words on cardboard got your picture in my hand,
Saying if you see this girl can you tell her where I am,
Some try to hand me money they don't understand,
I'm not...broke I'm just a broken hearted man,
I know it makes no sense, but what else can I do,
How can I move on when I'm still in love with you...

Cos if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me,
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I can be,
Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet,
And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street.
So I'm not moving... I'm not moving.

Policeman says son you can't stay here,
I said there's someone I'm waiting for if it's a day, a month, a year,
Gotta stand my ground even if it rains or snows,
If she changes her mind this is the first place she will go.

Cos if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me,
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I can be,
Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet,
And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street.
So I'm not moving... I'm not moving.I'm not moving... I'm not moving.

People talk about the guyWho's waiting on a girl... Oohoohwoo
There are no holes in his shoesBut a big hole in his world... Hmmmmand
maybe I'll get famous as man who can't be moved,
And maybe you won't mean to but you'll see me on the news,
And you'll come running to the corner...
Cos you'll know it's just for you
I'm the man who can't be movedI'm the man who can't be moved...

Cos if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me,
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I can be,
Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet,
And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street
I'm not moving.I'm not moving... I'm not moving.

Going back to the corner where I first saw you,
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag not I'm not gonna move.

Don't know why, I just feel that the lyric is so smart, and romantic.

Ahem...I know is gross to say is romantic, when you imagine some kind of nasty dirty beggar sitting at the street, kasut ada lubang, pukul pun tak rambus, tidor dalam camping back berlubang,holding a chun chic's picture some more(imagine Leah Dizon semi naked), and smile nastily ==
(yea, you know what I mean now?)

This song been playing like crazy for about a month. There's so much memories of that time...
Thinking back when I playing this song, still... unbelievable...<3
Never knew things will turn out like this, what a funny serendipity(am I using the correct word?).

No specific theme for this post, just a bit here and there...I finally did something today!! Yattaa~~~

New Year, New blog.

2009-01-01T00:08:00.000-08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I always wanna shift my blog from spaces to Blogspot, but you know la...layyyyziiiinesssss...
Well, finally my spaces is 'retired' , after my years of torture, polution and abuse.
It died because of overloaded of pictures.
Moral of the sotry : never be too greedy! [hai!sensei...]

I started my old poor spaces since March 2007, when everyone is talking about 'blogging'.
I never understand blogging...but for me, it is just a kind of communication, ya'll know, when you need to TALK.
Precisely it is not dead totally, if you happen to drop by my spaces, you can still read the post when you click into 'Archive', there you can see the 'murderer' of my spaces-- photos from Melacca.
If you guys are interested to save photos from there juz go here-- http://weisin87.spaces.live.com/blog/
(ok, I give up trying the '1 click straight to the page' thingy. Anyone knows how?)

I started to miss my old blog...there's so much incidents happened and I always feel like growing up when I read back my freaking kelian posts.
Ahem...most of them are darn emo I know, but I really like to write emo things I dunno why.

OK, first post in my blog...wat to blog about leh??? [nervous]
okokok....[clear throat]
so let's talk about new year eve.
It turn out not too bad, although I expected something more meaningful.
Not to say count down at The Curve is not meaningful, but I'm just not in the mood of being with sooooo many people.
Seriosuly, I rather to have a nice dinner with friends, and go somewhere not so crowded and watch fireworks from far, then give each other a new year hug, or bear hug?
Last night was nearly a disaster, but luckily the fireworks save up everything.
It was soo soo soooo pretty where you'll feel like keeping your mouth shut and just keep that moment into your memory. (if only the people at my back not spraying some fake 'snow flakes' on me)

Picture I'll post next time, my crappy camera is so difficult to transfer picture ==

I'll love you my blogspot!